Mommy to AJ4

She was my Mema

2012-02-09T21:36:00.001-06:00

I'm not even sure where to begin this post. I thought I would be "further along" by now, that it wouldn't hurt so much. I thought since I've dealt with grief so much in my 37 years that this would be easier. I've lost four children for goodness sake, this really should be an easy road to walk. I thought I would not be dealing with depression over this loss. I didn't believe I would be fighting to keep my head above water because of this pain. I've used all of the old cliches on myself. She lived a long full life. It was her time. She's in a better place. I keep coming back to one thing though. She was my Mema.

Mema. There is so much wrapped up in that one simple word. There is no way I could even begin to describe her. I stayed at her house every Friday night from the time I was old enough to stay away from my parents until I was in high school. My Senior year of high school, all of my friends went to the Drugstore or McDonald's for lunch. I went to Mema and Pepa's house. We worked puzzles together into the wee hours of the night, more nights than I can count. We would sing together, she would chastise me for buying such a hard puzzle, and she always let me put the last piece in. For my eighteenth birthday I wanted to go on a trip with my Mema and Pepa more than anything else in the world. I just can't imagine doing life without her there.

I don't understand God's timing. We were packed, ready to leave at 9 in the morning. It was 3 am. I will never in my life forget the scream from my Mother's mouth. It still haunts me when I dwell on it. While I was still pregnant with Andon, God told me I needed to go home for Thanksgiving, that I needed to go see Mema. I truly felt like her time with us was short. I felt like she wouldn't make it to Christmas. But why did He take her before I got there? Why did she not get to hold Andon in her arms? Why didn't I get to see her see him? Why not one more day? So many whys and what ifs are surrounding those next few days. Why was my Mom in Illinois instead of with her? Why was she fine one minute, eagerly looking forward to our arrival, and not fine an hour or two later? Why didn't I get to see her?

The last time I saw her was Easter. We were alone. She and I talked about the baby to come. She told me she was tired. I told her to take a nap. She told me, "no Angie, I'm just tired of living." I will never forget it. She was ready then. She told me she missed Pepa. There is a part of me that felt she waited to see Andon and yet, she didn't get to, and I just don't understand that. I never will.

My leaving for Japan nearly killed her. Literally. Yet, that two years and knowing I'd be gone from her gave me the courage to ask the one question I needed to be able to truly walk through this grief. I don't know if I would have mustered the courage to ask her about her salvation if I hadn't been pressed into it. But I did. I know she made a decision to follow Jesus when she was a child. I know she is in heaven. I know I did what I needed to make sure she was in a right relationship with Christ.

For some reason now it's the little things that are keeping me from moving through this pain. I've been home-home twice now since she died. Once for the funeral and Thanksgiving. Once for a Christmas celebration in January. Both times my Mom has offered to give me some of her jewelry. I can't take it. At the same time I remember her getting upset when I cried over losing my Nana's earrings once. I know she doesn't want me crying over her jewelry. She would be so upset with me. Her cookie jar sits in my kitchen. I've had it for years. She gave it to me a long time ago. It's had Nilla wafers in it since the day I got it. I can't look at it without crying these days. She made me a beautiful blanket. It's in the closet right now. At my children's birthday parties, I handed them cards from Nan and Grandaddy. Both days I caught myself right before I said, "and Mema." I've been saying that for so long it just naturally came. Yesterday I was in Wal-mart and walked by a huge barrel of cheese balls. She loved cheese balls. I cried in Wal-mart over cheese balls!

I've dreamed about her. I've longed for it to all be a dream. It's not. I miss her. It hurts. I hurt. I'm fighting this pain, trying not to let it become the encompassing depression that envelopes me and takes me away from everyone I love. It's hard. I don't like it. There are days I'm not even sure I'm going to make it. I feel like a failure for feeling that way. That's just life and who I am right now.When someone as amazing as Mema walks into your life, its hard to walk forward when she walks out.

Let It Go

2012-01-09T22:50:00.001-06:00

As a New Year has begun, I have made some changes in my life. I'm not really calling them resolutions, but I am working on some things in my life that I want to improve. I am doing this with a team of others that are encouraging me and holding me accountable. So far, things are going well and I am feeling confident about reaching my goals. Accountability always helps!

In my group, we are doing homework each night, helping us to reach our goals. Our homework for Saturday was to determine what was holding us back from reaching our goals. For example, a negative recurring thought, past failure, or unresolved anger, any of these things that could be causing us to not move forward. Then, we were to buy a helium balloon and symbolically "let it go" as we released the balloon into the sky.

Saturday night I told Patrick, I just can't think of anything I really need to "let go" of today. I didn't really spend a whole lot of time on it and I didn't really want to honestly. I've done this type of exercise before, although I can't remember if it was in college or high school. I kind of had a lackadaisical attitude towards the whole assignment. I was not in a hurry to really ponder what was holding me back.

The next morning during our drive to church Patrick and I were discussing something that I was dreading doing. Finally he said, "Angie I think that is what you need to let go of!" He was joking with me, but to an extent he was right. I have a tendency to worry so much about what I "think" is going to happen, that I ruin the journey to get there. Usually what I thought would happen never does. Ironically, our sermon that morning was on "worrying." Yes, I struggle with worrying about worrying. I freely admit that. No convinction there. That is an issue I know I have and am working on. At least, that's what I was "conversing" with God about during the service.

Then, the children's sermon began. I have two delightful boys. They are opinionated and free of speech. Therefore, the children's sermon is the most concerning five minutes of my week. I never know what is going to come out of my son's mouth. It increases my prayer life.

Mrs. Debbie began talking with the children. Her first words were, "do any of you worry?" Aiden raised his hand and said, "I do. Alot." Then, he dropped his little head to the floor, shook it side to side and sighed. The congregation kind of laughed because they are used to Aiden's high drama and overexaggerations. This time, he wasn't exaggerating. He does worry. I was heartbroken. What does he have to worry about? He's six. If you ask him, he will tell you he has nightmares, he worries about Daddy getting hurt at work, and a number of other things. Many more things than any 1st grader should have on their mind.

God chose this moment to speak to me straight from my sweet red head. He was answering Mrs. Debbie, but it was actually the Holy Spirit shooting an arrow to pierce my heart, to wake me up, and to show me what I needed to let go of immediately. I am teaching my child to worry. My actions do not just affect me. I have always seen worrying as something that was My problem, so not a big deal if I didn't address it. Oh, I knew it was a sign of not relying on God, but that doesn't hurt anyone except me. Well, wrong. It's hurting my son. It's hurting my family and friends, because they don't see me relying on God. Instead, I am displaying that I do not belive God can care for me in any and all circumstances. I don't want that for my children. They need to know He is trustworthy, no matter what.

On the way home from church I told Patrick I was going to run in and grab my balloon as soon as we got home and do my homework. I rushed in the house. I grabbed my balloon.

I had waited too long to release what was holding me back. My balloon would no longer fly. I've heard it said that worrying is like a lead weight on your shoulders. Instead of getting rid of my anxiety immediately, I mulled over it, worried, contemplated it over and over. The longer you wait, the more it holds you down, the more you feel trapped by it. The longer you wait, the harder it is to get rid of the problem. It will take drastic measures.

It's no longer going to be a "release" it will be more like a cut, God will have to cut out the part of your heart that is corrupt. It's sharp, it hurts, it's going to make a loud noise, and it might scare a few people around you. It's going to be messy and a little dangerous. Yet, God will still take over the situation if you ask Him. Thankfully, He's much more ready to handle this life that I am.

Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

Baby's First Christmas

2011-12-24T22:11:00.000-06:00

Aiden John, 11 months, 2005

Anthony Joseph, 9 months, 2006

Abigail Jaicee, 11 months, 2010

Andon Josiah, 2 months, 2011

Hannah Grace

2011-12-18T20:39:00.000-06:00

On December 18th, 2005, I miscarried our second child in a hospital emergency room. I was 11 weeks pregnant, but the pathology report said the baby had stopped growing at five weeks. We named the baby Hannah Grace. Obviously, we do not know for certain the child was a girl. However, she was in my heart. The eleven weeks she grew in my heart changed me forever. Today, after a long hard road of dealing with this painful scar, most of that change is for good. In an effort to honor her and help others who might be experiencing something similar, this is her story.

The Story of Hannah Grace

I'm pregnant. Aiden is barely nine months old. We just got on our feet a little. Our families aren't very happy. I'm trying to pretend to be happy, but I'm really scared. I am not happy. Patrick and I are arguing a lot. I don't know how to handle this! I don't want her. I am not ready for another baby. I said it out loud. More than once. I screamed it at Patrick.

A few weeks pass. Tears streamed down my face and blood dripped down my thigh. I didn't mean it. Give me back my baby God! Please! I do want her! Why am I losing her?

Drop Aiden with my Mom. I've never been away from him! I'm still nursing him. They tell me to stop nursing him or I will lose her. I don't want to stop. He's only eleven months old! My heart is torn between the love I hold and the love I'm trying to keep alive. Why am I losing her?

Race to the ER. My Daddy is holding me and crying while Patrick takes care of paperwork. Why am I losing her?

I know I'm only eleven weeks. What do you mean there is "evidence of conception, but no fetus" There WAS a baby there! Don't call it a spontaneous abortion! This was Not an abortion! Why am I losing her?

I've had a healthy baby! He's a big brother! He's going to be a big brother in July! It's only December! Why am I losing her?

What is that doctor doing? I feel like I was just violated in a way no woman should be! I don't know what she did. She didn't even talk to me, I don't even know this doctor's name! I can't see. I didn't get to see her! Why am I losing her?

If you can't get that IV in my hand on the third try you are done. There will be no IV! Don't laugh as you roll the needle and show others how it rolls my vein. I don't care if you haven't ever seen that happen before, it hurts! Can't you hear? I'm losing her! Why am I losing her?

Darkness surrounds me. I'm all alone in a hospital room. They tell me to sleep. Is she really gone? God, where are you? Where did they take her? I didn't even ask! What kind of a Mother am I? Could I have buried her? What did they do with her, she was a baby, not tissue! Did they just throw her away? Did I really lose her? Why did I lose her?

In a wheelchair. It's morning. The doctor has ordered an ultrasound to make sure all of the "tissue" is out and there will be no "complications." The ultrasound tech greets me with a cheery, "let's see how far along you are!" I start to shout at her for her insensitive words, but no sound comes. I feel like I've been punched in the stomach. I suck in my breathe. Tears well up in my eyes. I barely get out, "I lost her."

You won't believe what they did to me!

2011-10-19T13:34:00.007-05:00

Hi Mommy!

2011-10-19T13:34:00.006-05:00

Much better Daddy!

2011-10-19T13:34:00.005-05:00

Daddy, hold me!

2011-10-19T13:28:00.002-05:00

Great Lungs

2011-10-19T13:26:00.002-05:00

10 lbs 5 oz 19.5"

2011-10-19T10:38:00.001-05:00

10 lbs 5 oz 19.5" pictures to come later

2011-10-19T09:35:00.001-05:00

Patrick dressed and ready to roll

2011-10-19T08:58:00.000-05:00

Getting "dressed" for the OR.

2011-10-19T07:49:00.001-05:00

We are at the hospital and updates will be posted here and/or on Patrick's facebook.

Normal Waiting

2011-10-02T14:42:00.001-05:00

When I was pregnant with Aiden, there was fear of the unknown. Fear of being a mother. Fear of labor. Fear of caring for a baby. Fear of finances. Fear of losing my husband. Fear of really screwing up. With Abby, there was fear of losing her, of pushing the envelope too far, and of never seeing her smile. There is no fear with Andon. The entire pregnancy has been void of fear. Normal is strange. As I've said in the past, God is continuing to bring beauty from ashes.

Waiting for Andon. So many dates, so many possibilities. October 24th, his due date. October 19th, the scheduled c-section. October 8th, the day Aiden has chosen that Andon will be born. October 4th, the next ultrasound and the determination of how big is he really and do we need to move the c-section up. All of the hours in the middle when he could decide to come on his own.

What to do in the waiting? Be normal. So very strange, this being normal thing. I'm nesting. Had the sudden urge to clean my ceiling fans. I resisted, only because I knew I'd get yelled at for getting on a ladder. I'm in alot of pain. I'm having contractions here and there, but nothing consistent. I'm nauseated alot, which is new. I'm watching my diet, controlling the gestational diabetes. I'm seeing the doctor twice a week. I'm waddling. I'm growing out of all of my maternity clothes. I've packed a hospital bag, well for Andon at least, not for me. I'm trying to think of all the things we need to do before he arrives.

I'm trying really hard to be at peace with God's timing on his arrival. It's hard. So, I pray for peace and try to remember to enjoy this time. I know this is the last time I will feel a child inside, kicking me. I'm trying to remind myself to wait with joy instead of grumbling. It's hard. This normal waiting is weird. There's no fear in the waiting.

Party of Five

2011-10-02T08:07:00.001-05:00

Party of Five, Expanding Soon!

The Picture

2011-10-01T14:18:00.001-05:00

I have beautiful maternity pictures with Aiden. I was alot younger looking then! I never had pictures made when I was pregnant with Colin. I was on bed rest. For some reason though, I do not even have pictures we took ourselves. I don't know why. I do not have any pictures documenting my pregnancy with Colin. I have always regretted that. I "resolved" that issue when I was pregnant with Abby. I took belly pictures every week with her. I never got professional maternity pictures though, because I got put on bed rest and placed in the hospital.

Today, we had family pictures made. Me, pregnant, surrounded by my three beautiful children and my handsome husband. That was sweet. We took individual pictures of the three munchkins. They are cute as a button. Then, the photographer took a picture of me and I'm holding my very big round belly in my two hands and I'm looking down at this life inside of me and my face is beaming with joy. The picture is "the" picture. I looked up and saw it on the screen and tears formed in my eyes as my sweet Father in heaven whispered in my ear, "beauty from ashes Angie." It's as if He wants to redeem every part of my regret and pain one moment at a time, in a very intimate dance with me. What kind of love is that?

We are His portion and He is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking
So Heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way...
He loves us
Oh how He loves us
Oh how He loves us
Oh how He loves

Coffee Break

2011-09-29T15:50:00.000-05:00

Today is International Coffee Day!

Little Chefs

2011-09-27T15:47:00.000-05:00

My Mom and the kids are working on a neat project. She is cooking with them nearly every day right now. Meat loaf was the menu for the day!

I just love this picture!!! It was yummy too!

Swim Class

2011-09-26T15:44:00.000-05:00

Abby and I are ready for swim class!

This is one of my absolute favorite activities in our week. Abby loves swimming so much! She gets so excited to go and has improved so much since we started!

This is probably one of our last classes. It just makes me want to cry, but with the baby's arrival getting so close we will have to take a little water break. I hope we can get back to it very soon!

36 Weeks

2011-09-26T15:35:00.000-05:00

I'm 36 weeks! We haven't had any complications, except gestational diabetes. The doctors are saying this little boy is big. I think he'll be about 8 pounds 5 ounces. I can't wait to see! I think it'll be anytime now, I've had a few contractions. Aiden was born at 37 weeks.

So glad my Mom is here helping now!!! I don't know what I would do without the amazing grandparents my babies have!

Happy Birthday Patrick!

2011-09-24T15:31:00.000-05:00

Aiden and Anthony planned a birthday party for their Daddy! Aiden wanted his Daddy to have a farm birthday because Daddy loves chickens.

Nan helped Aiden, Anthony, and Abby make a cake.

Our friends celebrated with us!

Mimi gave him a laptop!

He loved his card from CJ.

Aiden sang a special song and made a song on the Wii for his Daddy, it was awesome!

Apple Pie

2011-09-22T15:25:00.000-05:00

Our amazing neighbor baked Patrick an apple pie for his birthday today since I am so very pregnant! It was yummy! Happy 33rd Birthday Patrick!

Wacky Wear

2011-09-21T15:22:00.000-05:00

Today was Wacky Wear at school!

Loved Aiden's hair!

Anthony was fascinated with wearing different socks!

Fun Run

2011-09-16T15:10:00.000-05:00

The boys had their Fun Run for school today. This is a fundraiser to help their school. Aiden's class was first!

His first grade class, with Max the Cheetah.

Cheerleaders!

Anthony's class is up!

Anthony's Kindergarten Class with Max.

The cheerleaders gave it their all!

Bucket List Complete!

2011-09-03T14:58:00.000-05:00

Well, school has begun and today we finally marked off the rest of our Bailey Family Summer Bucket List! We started the day by finishing a project that has been seven years in the making. Patrick and the children put a stain on our box we keep our shoes in.

Then, today was the grand opening of McDonald's in Sugar Grove.

We had a quick lunch and then got to dance with Ronald McDonald. Abby loved it!

Finally, to our bucket list item! We wanted to see a baseball game! Getting ready!

Oh no! Rain delay!

Making the most of our seats while we wait!!! (Also a very good picture of my daily life.)

Yay! We're gonna play ball now!

Well, she almost made it.

We will definitely be doing the baseball thing again. The local team is the Kaneland Cougars. It was a fun experience! The night we went was Star Wars night. We were supposed to get to see fireworks with Star Wars music, but because of the rain delay and the city curfew we didn't get to have fireworks. I'm not sure who was more disappointed the boys or Patrick and I. It was definitely a close race on that one!

Bucket list complete! We had an awesome summer!!!

Five

2011-08-25T00:14:00.002-05:00

"You are having another little boy?"

"Yes, Andon Josiah"

"Wow! Three boys and a girl!"

(in my head: five boys and three girls) "Yes"

"Do you think your family is complete now?"

(Complete?) "We aren't sure, that is up to God."

So the conversation goes these days.

Complete? Well, honestly no. That doesn't mean we will be adding to our family again. But I know my family is not complete. For five years it has been strikingly incomplete.

I think of him when I hang the Christmas stockings. There is one missing.

Sometimes I count heads, just to make sure I have everyone. There is always one missing.

When I set the table for dinner, there is a place setting missing.

When I give goodnight kisses and rub noses one kiss goes unreceived. There is one missing.

There will Always be a little boy missing. His name is Colin. He should have started Kindergarten yesterday with his brother Anthony. Many have said, "Oh you wouldn't have Anthony if you still had Colin." I don't believe that. The two boys are not interchangeable and God chose each of them to be my son. I would have had "virtual twins" and one of my twins is missing.

Recently I was told I needed to "get over" the loss of my children, that it showed a lack of trust in God, my continued grief was somehow perceived as a sin. I completely disagree. I Daily CLING to my Father in heaven to help me walk with a hole in my heart the shape of four babies in heaven. He is the only thing that allows me to stand each day. He is the only one that can ease what is missing. He is the Only One that will make my family COMPLETE. God is the only one that sees everything, nothing is missing for Him! I can't wait for Him to show me all the things I am missing!

1 Corinthians 13:12
For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

Happy Heaven Day Colin Michael. I miss you.

He would have been five today.

First Day of School

2011-08-24T21:08:00.000-05:00

New clothes, new backpacks, new friends, new teachers, new schedules.

First Grade. Mr Wenz.

New lunchbox. This is hard on Mom. I can't imagine not having Aiden at lunch. I'm going to spend all day worrying if I put enough food in for him! But I did enjoy slipping a little note in his lunchbox last night.

Big boy. This is "old hat"

And a new year begins.

A special lunch. A congratulation card.

Kindergarten. Mrs. Yaggie. PM class.

No more naps.

And a school career begins!

Yay for a successful first day! Together again!

Let's go home and play! What? We have to do our homework first??? Awww Mom!

Kindergarten Orientation

2011-08-20T00:36:00.000-05:00

I really just can't believe it's time for Anthony to start school! Kindergarten is only half a day here, which is good, I'm not sure what Abby is going to do without her playmate! My biggest concern though is that, unlike Aiden who had class in the morning, Anthony has it in the afternoon. This shouldn't be a huge problem, except that he still hasn't given up his afternoon nap. Can't wait to see hows it goes!

Waiting for the Orientation to start.

New cubby

New classroom

Guest Blogging

2011-08-16T17:52:00.005-05:00

I am a guest blogger today on I Can Teach my Child! Check it out!

Picnic in the Park

2011-08-13T00:30:00.001-05:00

One of the things on our "Bailey Family Summer Bucket List" was to visit five places we've never been to before. Summer is nearly over, we are fast approaching the first day of school and we needed one more new place! So, we packed a picnic lunch and took off to find a new place to play!

Five new places? Check! Family fun? Double check!!!

Blanket

2011-08-10T00:27:00.000-05:00

I have made a flannel blanket for each of my children. I loved picking out the bright pink flowers for a blanket for a little girl!

Hey Abby, come here! I want to give you something!

Warm and cozy!

29 Weeks

2011-08-10T00:25:00.001-05:00

Andon Belly at 29 weeks!

The Rocket

2011-08-05T00:14:00.001-05:00

At the beginning of the summer I asked Aiden and Anthony what they wanted to do this summer. Aiden, without hesitating, said "build a rocket!" I really shouldn't have been so shocked, we are Phineas and Ferb fans. So, we made a "Bailey Family Summer Bucket List!" Building a rocket was a project for the men, the girls (Abby and I) just sat back and watched.

Construction begins

Setting up the launcher

Sweet success!

Corn Boil 2011

2011-07-31T20:42:00.000-05:00

Going to the Corn Boil!

Can't wait to get there!

Loving the rollercoaster!

Riding the rides!

Heading home with prizes!

The best part is always the corn!!!

Macomb Trip

2011-07-28T08:50:00.000-05:00

We took a quick trip to visit friends in Macomb! We swam and had a great time with Papa Bob and Grandma Sherrill!

VBS at the Park

2011-07-22T09:08:00.001-05:00

We had a wonderful team from St. Jo, Missouri, come do a Vacation Bible School in two different parks in the area. This is our second year to work with this team. They are great! We had a very successful event!

Water Fun

2011-07-11T09:02:00.001-05:00

Day Four Favorites

2011-07-04T11:00:00.001-05:00

Aiden: Making up a ghost story at the campfire
CJ: Riding horses
Anthony: Riding horses
Abby: Riding the horses
Nan: Riding horses and making s'mores around the campfire
Patrick: S'mores
Angie: Watching the campers ride the horses! I especially loved it when CJ asked if Ruth and Lois if they ever braided Bernie's tail and Lois showed CJ how to braid the tail. That was a really neat experience! I am so grateful to Ruth and Lois for making this such a neat occasion for the children and for all of the hard work Mimi and Papa have put into Cow Camp!

Cousin Camp 2011 Day Four

2011-07-03T23:05:00.001-05:00

We began day four by attending church at Lynwood Baptist. We love our church family! We ate pizza at the church because Counselor Aunt Angie/Mommy had a meeting to attend. Following our meeting we headed out to Streator to meet up with Mimi and Papa! While we were driving we heard another chapter of Hank the Cowdog! About an hour later we were excited to arrive at Cow Camp!

Upon our arrival we found out the shocking news that Mimi and Papa's cows had been taken by a gang of Rustlers! The Sheriff was on top of the case and it was up to us to keep an eye out for any suspicious activity! We decided we better go talk with the Sheriff's Posse and get a little training, in case we needed to ride off in the sunset after a cow or a crook! Deputy Sheriff Lois and Deputy Sheriff Ruth walked us through all of the ropes, with the help of their trusty steed Bernie!

All of that cowboy and cowgirl training worked up quite an appetite for us! Luckily Mimi's Cafe was serving up some amazing treats! The Menu for the night included:

Hank The Cowdog's favorite burgers - 3 kisses
Rootin Tootin hotdogs - 2 kisses
Yippee Aye A Fries - 2 kisses
Texas Ranger chips - 1 hug
Florida Cattleman's dip - 1 hug

Your choice of beverages: Home on the Range Rootbeer, Cactus Gulch Apple Juice, or Silver Spurs Water

And for dessert - Ooey Gooey Ranch S-mores

Well, if you've never eaten at Mimi's Cafe you are missing out! The two cooks are out of this world! We enjoyed a feast!

With our energy regained we played on the rock pile! Mimi had us help pull some weeds, we worked for our supper that way!

Then, we had a camp fire and ate delicious s'mores. There were many important discussions. Two being how to properly throw a plastic bottle into the fire and the right way to eat a marshmallow. Mimi and Counselor Aunt Angie/Mommy are very partial to the completely burnt variety!

Finally, we headed off to sleep under the stars in our tent. It was amazing to look up through the roof of the tent and see the hundreds of lightening bugs flitting around. A great night's sleep was had by all!

Day Three Favorites

2011-07-03T10:57:00.001-05:00

Aiden: Swimming!
CJ: Swimming!
Anthony: Waiting in the car while Daddy went into Wal-mart to get stuff for dinner.
Abby: Swimming!
Nan: Watching Patrick be so patient making breakfast with the kids.
Patrick: Going to splash country!
Angie: Swimming! That water felt so, so, so good!

Cousin Camp 2011 Day Three

2011-07-02T20:36:00.003-05:00

Cousin Camp began with everyone helping Chef Uncle Patrick/Daddy make a big breakfast! Patrick always amazes me when he cooks with the children. He is incredibly patient with them and they love helping him! He believes that no little one is to little to "help" him in some way!

Plus, it's always delicious! CJ was eating "Uncle Patrick's Grits" and said, "mmmm, mmmm, mmm, mmm, mmmm!" It just doesn't come across the same in print. :)

Those who weren't helping cook busied themselves with a little tea party while they waited for their turn.

Then, I found out that Patrick was having some back pain. I couldn't believe how patient and wonderful he had been making breakfast in such pain. THEN, I found out he had been having the back pain for over a week and hadn't told me. THEN, I found out on a scale of 1-10 with 10 being the worst pain, he was at an eight! And THEN I took Patrick to an urgent care center to get checked. Silly boy. I don't have any pictures of that little visit, but while Patrick and I did that, Nan held down the fort full of campers!

The campers painted some beautiful sun catchers in a western theme. I love how Abby, at 17 months old, is painting so well with a q-tip! Her fine motor skills amaze us!

The finished products are gorgeous! Just look at those proud smiles!

We finally got Patrick out of the doctor's office and on some high powered medication. We were thrilled to find out it was only a lower left lumbar strain. Nice! He hurt the right side of his back playing soccer back in high school. So, now he has a matching back!

We decided to head to Blackberry Farm for a little picnic and some fun! Blackberry Farm is a local place with really neat historical buildings. Throughout the year they do alot of special events that teach the children history. There are animals, a carousel, and a train to ride. It's a lot of fun! We enjoyed all of that and our Kentucky Fried Chicken lunch!

It was a very hot day and right across the street from Blackberry Farm is Splash Country. We had never been to it before, but you can buy a joint ticket for Blackberry and there. We had so much fun here and will definitely be going back! We found out very quickly that all four of our campers are actually fish!!! Last year for Cousin Camp we went to a different water park. It was amazing to me the difference a year has made in our three big kids! They all have some Mad swimming skills now!!! The very cold water felt amazing! We don't have alot of pictures from this, mainly because, well we were having fun in the water! All of the big kids really enjoyed the lazy river, the slide, and the big pool. They were very sad when we said it was time to go.

We left wet and happy! We stopped at Walmart and Patrick ran inside for some food. We all stayed in the car and waited since we were wet. Then, we finished off the day with sandwiches and a big slice of yummy watermelon. It was a great day!

Day Two Favorites

2011-07-02T09:14:00.004-05:00

Mommy/Aunt Angie: Showing CJ the fireflies!

Daddy/Uncle Patrick: Taking the camper to the park to play!

Nan: The popcorn and movie!

Aiden: The Treasure Hunt! I liked finding the Gold!!! Gold I tell ya! Eureka!

CJ: Playing outside at the park with Aiden and Anthony!

Anthony: Finding the gold!

Abby: Seeing Dr. Kleinfeld! I love her!

Cousin Camp 2011 Day Two

2011-07-01T22:25:00.001-05:00

Good Morning Cousin Campers!!! It's time to go on a Treasure Hunt!!!

Let's Go!

Our first clue was in the Big People Bunkhouse!

Found it!

To the kitchen!

It's in the refrigerator!

Where do we go now???

The Big Outhouse Mirror!

We Found the TREASURE!!!

Look at all of our loot!

Mustaches!

What a band of cowboys and cowgirls!!!

Put your hands up!

Mommy, I don't feel good!!!

Off to the doctor we went. She is now on breathing treatments and steroids every four hours! This was Not on the Cousin Camp agenda today! The doctor has decided to put her on a preventative medication to see if we can cut out these respiratory issues she keeps having.

The cowhands had lunch while we were at the doctor's office. Counselor Nan cooked up some awesome grub!

The cowboy is sitting on a horse, there are cows to round up and some bales of hay!

Counselor Patrick took everyone to the park to play while Mommy, Nan, and Abby took a rest!

CJ was fascinated by the fireflies out our back door.

We had a pizza picnic, watched a movie, and had some popcorn. We also read the next chapter in our Hank the Cowdog book. Later, after everyone else went to bed, CJ and Aunt Angie went outside and watched the fireflies together. She said, "there are a THOUSAND!!!" Have I mentioned how much I LOVE Cousin Camp???

Day One Favorites

2011-07-01T10:38:00.003-05:00

Mommy/Aunt Angie: Hugging my CJ!

Daddy/Uncle Patrick: I liked watching them play at the playground at the mall.

Nan: Grabbing my kids and taking a picture of all four of them together!

Aiden: Picking up CJ at the station!

CJ: Seeing Aiden, Anthony, Abby, Uncle Patrick and Aunt Angie!

Anthony: Seeing Nan and picking up Nan and CJ!

Abby: Stopping playing at the mall playground to go hug Nan every three minutes, over and over and over!

Cousin Camp 2011 Day One

2011-06-30T22:00:00.002-05:00

Cousin Camp starts today! Nan and CJ have finally arrived! They came on the train from Texas, it took them 24 hours to get to us. Well, actually a little longer, because their train was running late!

After we picked them up we went to the mall to play on the playground for a little bit and get out some energy!

We ate dinner at Chic-Fil-A. We were so surprised and excited to find out that it was "Save your receipt" day! That means we can go back again and order everything on our receipt for Free! After dinner we headed to swim class, where Aiden and Anthony did a good job in the pool.

We finally headed home around 8:00 last night and we Officially began The Great Cousin Camp Round Up!

We read our memory verse for the week. It is Matthew 22:37-39, "Jesus replied: Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself."

We learned where everything is like the little outhouse, the bunkhouse, the chuck wagon, the saddle bags, and the great prairie!

In preperation for our adventures tomorrow we made some trail mix! We poured

and then we mixed!

Finally, we were all tired from a very long day! So, we started a chapter in our book about "Hank the Cowdog" and then went to bed!

Unexpected Light

2011-06-29T21:21:00.004-05:00

Have you ever seen something so beautiful you wanted to photograph it, but no matter how hard you tried you couldn't do it justice? My happy place, the island, comes to mind. Sunsets and sunrises are that way. I have some beautiful pictures of both, but none of them do the actual moment justice.

We have lived in Illinois for nearly five years. That doesn't even seem possible to me. I have seen some beautiful sites in this state. It's one of the reasons I stayed. The beauty of the fresh fallen snow in the winter, the gorgeous fall leaves changing colors, and the amazing green turning into an indescribable golden color of the corn in the fields are all beautiful to me.

Yet, I'll never forget the first time I saw the unexpected lights. We lived in Macomb and it was our first summer here. We had such a wonderful and hard year all rolled into one. We had lost Colin and gained Anthony in less than a year. One night I was marveling at all God had brought us through in those few short months and a flash of light caught my eye out of my back window. I looked out over the huge backyard we had and saw them! Not one or two flashes of light, but hundreds of small, moving, twinkling lights! They were breath taking! I vaguely remembered seeing fireflies as a little girl in Texas, but it had been years! They've disappeared from my home state. I had never seen them like this though! They were so beautiful and it was like God was giving me my own special fireworks show, right in my backyard! I called Patrick and the boys and we went outside and stood in awe of these little bugs. Later that week my family visited from Texas and I will never forget the joy and excitement as my boys and their cousin, CJ, raced through our backyard catching fireflies. I tried to take pictures of it, but every picture was just a big blur. It was a moment that could only be recorded in our memories.

Every summer I watch expectantly for them. As we drive down the road at night I scan the sides of the roads and the fields, looking for their return. I can't even describe how excited I get when I see them for the first time every summer. Tonight, I'm holding Abby, she's asleep on my lap. She turned 17 months old today, that doesn't even seem possible. I don't want to move, not because I'm afraid of waking her, I'm ready to put her in her bed for the night, but because I don't want to miss the show out of my sliding glass door. Hundreds of them, twinkling, glowing, flying back and forth, spreading that light.

Within the span of several days I have had more than one person comment on this "surprise baby" we are having and mention some solutions for preventing that from happening again. A few months ago I would have whole heartedly agreed with them. But, today, I felt sorry for those people, the people that just don't understand.

From the very beginning God has told me over and over, "Angie, I will bring beauty from ashes through this child." I have seen that. Just as God used Abby to heal my heart, He is using this little boy to continue to heal places I didn't even realize were broken. Nearly five years ago I watched an ultrasound and the tech said, "well, God must think you are an excellent Mother to boys, because you are having another one." That was Colin. When he died those words haunted me. Satan would whisper in my ear, "excellent Mother to boys? God doesn't think so. Your body killed that little boy." There was still a part of me that deep down felt like Abby beat MFI and IUGR, the things that killed Colin, because she was a girl. Satan's lies were still ricocheting off of my head, even if I didn't realize it. We are not out of the woods, our issues start at 28 weeks, but this little one is coming home, and I strongly feel like he'll not have any issues. I've known from the moment I found out we were expecting that this was a boy. Our ultrasound recently confirmed that. It also confirmed what my heart knew, what God had been whispering in my ear. He is thriving!

As I watched this child on the ultrasound a few weeks ago I fell more and more head over heels in love. We've named him Andon Josiah. Andon is a Japanese word that means light. Andon was unexpected in My plan. Six months ago I was "unexpectedly expecting" and terrified. I was not prepared for another child, another extremely difficult pregnancy, and the possibility of another loss. Yet, God had his own special light show planned for me just like that night in Macomb. He knew this little boy, who is kicking me right now, would bring amazing light and joy. That night I saw the fireflies for the first time, God already knew Andon. God's plan was so much better than anything I could dream up. Just like the first time I saw those fireflies, I am in awe of this child. I find myself searching the calendar, like I do the fields in the summer, waiting for my first glimpse at him. The first half of the pregnancy flew by, but now it seems to be dragging. I am so grateful for God's unexpected light shows! I am so ready to meet this little lightening bug of mine!

You, LORD, are my lamp;
the LORD turns my darkness into light.
2 Samuel 22:29

Filling Mommy's Shoes

2011-05-13T15:53:00.001-05:00

Mother's Day Tradition

2011-05-10T16:36:00.003-05:00

Mother's Day 2005

Mother's Day 2006

Mother's Day 2007

Mother's Day 2008

Mother's Day 2009

Mother's Day 2010

Mother's Day 2011

To the Ends of the Earth

2011-03-08T15:56:00.001-06:00

I've re-discovered this week that there is nothing in the world like hearing your child sing praises to God. Aiden's new favorite song is "Days of Elijah." He requests it in the car, at the table, before bed, and in his sleep. He loves, loves, loves the line, "There is no God like Jehovah" and he will stop you from singing and say, "Mama, do you know why there is no God like Jehovah?" and I'll say, "why Aiden?" And then, as if he is telling you the greatest secret in the entire world (which he is!) he'll say, "Because God is Jehovah!" Then, he'll throw himself back into praising his Jehovah. I love the theology of a child!!!

However, sometimes that praise can reduce me to tears. That same little red headed boy was in church on Sunday. He had not sang one word all morning. This is uncommon for him, but there are times that he prefers to listen to Mama sing. Ever since he was a baby I have been singing hymns and praise songs to him. He will put his hand on my throat to feel the vibrations and put his ear against my cheek to listen. That's what Sunday was for us. He was on my left, Anthony was on my right, both of them had their ears pressed to my cheeks listening to me sing to our Father. Pastor Bruce gave an excellent sermon. We are currently in a sermon series called, "Flip this House." He was discussing evangelizing our world. We watched an amazing video clip on the Indonesian people receiving the word of God in their own language. I was watching when I realized, Aiden was watching too, mesmerized and I realized he couldn't read the translation fast enough, so I began reading out loud to him. I couldn't read fast enough for him. He was saying, "they are so happy! look how happy they are!" It struck me, but not as hard as the invitation did that day. Shortly after the video, the sermon was over and the invitation was given. We stood to sing and my little red head stood up in the chair next to his Daddy. He didn't hold onto me and he didn't press his ear against my cheek. Instead, with a beaming smile, one of pure joy, he belted out the song we were singing, "Wherever He Leads I'll Go." I cried, joy mixed with the coming pain of having a child that follows after God. I used to sing that song with joy like that. I sang it several times in preparation to leave for Japan. I remember thinking how much I loved it, how the words always touched my heart, deep into my soul where I wanted to travel the world and share Jesus. And I remember my Mama crying as I sang it with pure joy and abandon. Role reversal isn't fun.

But I'm still the Mommy and I want what's best for him, not me, so last night as we sang together I reminded Aiden how important it is that he follow God, wherever God wants him to go. That's right sweet boy, you follow Him! You let go of your weeping Mother and you run after Jesus, to the ends of the earth baby boy!!!

Just Stuff

2011-03-08T03:42:00.004-06:00

I am so behind on blogging and I plan to come back and slowly post those pictures and stories of our lives, for a record for me and my children, but if I don't just jump back in with both feet I'm never going to start again. I have so many things I want to remember right now and talk about, so I thought I'd just jot them down and work on the past later.

We're having a baby in October. That seems very surreal sometimes. To be honest, when I found out I was not very happy. I was very content with my sweet little family. I didn't see the reason to add to it. Over the course of a few hours and some amazing friends I began to remember that this isn't about me, but about God and His plan. I went on a retreat right after we found out about the baby (who desperately needs a nickname!) and I asked God to show me a glimpse of what He was doing. My due date is October 24th. That was Colin's due date. I'm not a superstitious person, but it was bothering me that it was the same date. I cried out to God in anguish over this entire situation. He answered me. He told me, "Angie, I bring beauty from ashes!" I got a small glimpse, I felt God telling me, "I restore what I take." I don't know all of His plan for this little life, but I'm sure it will be miraculous, just like his or her brothers and sister. What a blessing to get to stand in the wings and watch!

We had a wonderful first OB appointment! We got to see the baby and there was a beautiful little beating heart. Unfortunately we didn't get any pictures. We were sad about that, but we go back in two weeks. I have the most amazing peace that this child is okay. I couldn't say that at this point with Abby. I feel like we will bring this baby home and that my pregnancy will not be as difficult as Abby's was for me. I've joked with Patrick that "every pregnancy is different" and wouldn't it be nice if the "different" in this pregnancy would be a full term baby that I get to take straight to my room with me! Even when Aiden was born they took him for four hours of "observation" even though there was nothing wrong with him, it was just the hospital policy. What a hoot it would be to not be separated from my newborn!

I can't decide if I would prefer a boy or a girl. I go back and forth on that. Patrick does too, I think. Sometimes I really want Abby to have a little sister, sometimes I think a boy would be nice. I've also thought about how neat it would be to not find out the gender this time and let it be a surprise. I'm just not sure I'm capable of that though, especially with as many ultrasounds as we will end up having. However, the boys in the family are adamant about their preferences. Anthony would like "another sister!" Aiden has requested that, "Mama, could you get it right this time and have a boy?" I told Aiden to take that up with Jesus! Both boys are very excited about the baby. Abby, well, Abby doesn't know what is about to hit her. I think one of the reasons God has chosen to bless us with another child is to knock the Princess off her pedestal! This Daddy's girl is about to have her little world rocked. But, we've still got a little time and even as I'm trying to hold onto her baby-ness, she's trying to push her independence. She'll be ready when the time is right. Now, if I could just convince her that the time isn't quite "right" and she could slow down a little life would be great!

Aiden:

* loves going to Kindergarten, but needs to slow down, he completes his work so fast that alot of times he doesn't do it correctly, we are constantly talking about doing your work with excellence and that life is not a race

* can't wait for swim class each week, is currently working hard on his backstroke (which is a miracle considering two months ago he was petrified to float on his back)

* lost another tooth recently and named it Bullseye

* will be starting soccer soon (but doesn't know it yet)

* is growing in his knowledge of God, he loves reading his Bible, I am so thankful for that

Anthony:

* turns five on Thursday! He is so excited!!! He's been waiting for his birthday "forever!" He got a cupcake and song at a restaurant on Sunday, he gets to take cupcakes to Preschool on Wednesday, we'll celebrate a little at home on Thursday, and his party is Sunday afternoon, it's more like birthday week around here!

* gets to register for Kindergarten on Saturday morning! Wow! I can remember agonizing over whether or not he was ready to start preschool and now I'm sending him off everyday to Kindergarten? What a strange, and quiet, house this will be.

* loves swim class and Coach Davy, he asks everyday, is it Thursday? do we get to go to swim class today? he is currently working on swimming with his head underwater, which is amazing since two months ago he wouldn't walk under a shower for fear of getting his head wet, I am so amazed and pleased with Bear Paddle where the children are taking classes!

* current favorite thing to do is yell, "Yes!" and pump his arm when anything excites him, it is too cute!

* is absolutely phenomenal at Sword Fighting on the Wii, he can beat every member of our household. I don't know how he does it, but he's good.

Abby:

* is eating like a starved woman. She is downing so much food it is crazy! We think she heard us say she had to be 20 pounds to turn her carseat around and she's rushing to get there. She was 19 pounds at the beginning of the week and two days later she was 19.7 pounds. Her whole body shape has changed too. Someone said, oh, well, she's eating more, so she must be weaning from nursing? Nope, she increased that too.

* is walking!!! She spends all day walking now. Yesterday she just took off. She walked from the living room to her room all by herself. She loves holding someone's hand and taking off, but she's getting more and more confident about walking alone. She is so cute and wobbly. She's finally starting to choose walking over crawling, unless she wants to be somewhere in under the speed of light, then she crawls.

* is learning to sign "more" but much prefers to try to talk to you about life. She is trying so hard to make the right words. There have been more than a few times where I've thought she said the right thing for the situation. Maybe the house won't be so "quiet" without Anthony after all.

* absolutely adores her brothers and wants to mimic Everything they are doing. This has caused some humorous and frustrating situations. She just can't fathom why she isn't big enough to do some of the things they are doing.

* is loving swim class too. Her favorite thing to do is "zoom" under the water (complete submersion) and then give Coach Lindsey a high five. She also loves when we sing Humpty Dumpty and she "falls" in the water. She actually jumps in, instead of falls. The first time she did it, it scared her coach to death. She just loves the water!

Patrick and Angie:

* are blessed. to have each other, to have our children, to have amazing friends, and to be loved by our God.

The Countdown

2011-03-04T11:14:00.001-06:00

Eleven Months Old

2010-12-29T00:51:00.000-06:00

Abigail is eleven months old. She is pulling up to stand and trying to walk. She's still under 20 pounds, I think 18. She has four teeth.

She really hates wearing bows.

She still has a smile that can melt my heart.

Family Trip to Chicago

2010-12-27T00:46:00.001-06:00

Part of our Christmas gift to one another was a quick family trip to Chicago. We window shopped and spent a little of our Christmas money.

Went to the American Doll store.

Looked at the beautiful downtown Christmas decorations.

Swam in the slightly cold hotel pool

Watched our friend, and fellow church planter, Ken Schultz, perform at Navy Pier.

Finally, we made a quick visit to the Children's Museum before heading home.

Christmas

2010-12-25T00:37:00.000-06:00

Following the road of lights Santa made for us!

Santa left alot of goodies and decorated our house again this year!

Honestly, I just really loved the lights in this picture and had to share it.

Abby's first baby doll

Christmas Eve 2010

2010-12-24T00:27:00.002-06:00

We had a very traditional Christmas Eve dinner of Kentucky Fried chicken before going to the service at our church. I love taking a picture of our family on Christmas Eve.

Abby is wearing the same outfit Aiden and Anthony wore for their first Christmas. Well, the boys didn't have to wear the bow.

We made oatmeal raisin cookies for Santa earlier in the day, because Daddy insisted those were Santa's favorite!

We wrote a note and left out the cookies and milk.

Then we sprinkled the "magic reindeer food" on the ground outside our door.

We opened up our new pajamas, our first present.

We opened our last book for the Christmas season. This one was the Bible! We read the most important story of Jesus' birth and talked about why we celebrate Christmas.

But the real story of this night, I don't have a picture of at all. You see, we were late to that Christmas Eve service. We barely skidded into the parking lot. Patrick and I were just too busy leading Aiden to a saving relationship with Jesus Christ to get there on time! It was a Christmas Eve I will Never forget! My greatest joy is to help usher children into the family of God. I've never experienced joy quite like listening to my son pray and admit that he did things wrong and wanted Jesus to take away all of his wrong things and be the boss over his life. Joy to the World!

Blessed

2010-12-23T00:25:00.001-06:00

In case you haven't noticed . . .

God gave me some beautiful babies!

Polar Express

2010-12-19T00:01:00.001-06:00

In the book/movie, Polar Express, all of the children board the train to the North Pole. It's a sweet story. All of the children are in their pajamas, robes, and slippers. They travel to see Santa Claus. It's one of my favorite Christmas movies. So, when I heard that a local place was doing a Polar Express with their train, I jumped at the chance to take the children. I prepped them by showing them the movie and off we went!

i was searching for that child like magic from my children. I can assure you, not one of those children in that movie are from Illinois!!! Instead of magic, I got chattering teeth! We happened to attend on the Coldest night of the year! Even though we were very bundled up, we were freezing! The train was open, letting that cold air just whip through our layers. Anthony was still smiling though! He loves Blackberry Farm and that train!

Abby was Not amused at this adventure!

At the end of the night we were rewarded with getting to talk to Santa. Aiden asked for Ham from Toy Story.

Anthony asked for a box with a key in it.

Abby, well, she didn't cry, but once again, she was not really amused with this adventure!

Now, we're off for our hot cocoa!!! Hopefully it will thaw us out!

Chaney Christmas

2010-12-15T19:11:00.001-06:00

Nan, Aunt PJ, and CJ arrived at our house to celebrate Christmas with us!

We took them sledding!

Aiden

Nan coming down!

All dressed up for a picture!

Every night we opened a book and read a story together

Just look at all these gifts! There's some fun Christmas presents there too!!!

Nan's Christmas train project

CJ learns to shovel snow

Santa Cow!

Grandaddy and Uncle Mark were hunting, but they are finally here! They are both just "resting their eyes" I'm sure!

The night before Christmas I decided to finally work on my Christmas gift to the kids

One down and one very late night ahead of me!

Four sock monkeys!

When Aiden saw his sock monkey he hugged me and said, "You're the Best Mommy ever!"

It was worth no sleep!!!

Opening Christmas presents

Hershey's Kiss for Hershey

Time to make Christmas dinner, working on the dressing

Family

One of the new toys, a Giga Ball, was a huge hit!

Look at that hair!

Snowcream before they hit the road back to Texas

CJ likes it!

We had an amazing time with our family for Christmas! We also went to the movies to see "Tangled," did a little shopping, and made some amazing memories together!

First Snowcream!

2010-12-05T18:57:00.000-06:00

Making our first Snowcream of the 2010 winter!!!

Spoons ready!

What's this??? Mmmmm! Abby's first Snowcream ever!

Baby It's Cold Outside!

2010-12-04T19:08:00.000-06:00

The snow outside is so beautiful! The boys put on their snow gear with their Daddy shirts (aka pajamas) and then ran from the back of the house to the front. They were cold, but giggling!

First Sledding of 2010

2010-12-04T18:49:00.000-06:00

I don't know what we're doing, but I'm happy to be going!

Mommy's turn! Yay!

Aiden likes to go down head first!

It's cold, but I'm happy!

Anthony's turn!

Ten Months Old

2010-11-28T18:46:00.000-06:00

Children's Christmas Trees

2010-11-28T18:44:00.000-06:00

Abby's Tree

Aiden and Anthony's Tree

Christmas Decorations

2010-11-28T02:16:00.001-06:00

Putting our new ornaments on the tree

Bailey Family Ornament 2010

The Star

The finished tree

Stockings

Profiles

2010-11-23T02:14:00.000-06:00

Traditions

2010-11-21T02:10:00.001-06:00

One of my favorite holiday traditions is Operation Christmas Child. Every year our family packs a shoebox for a child in need. I love taking the children to pick out gifts and having them help pack the shoebox.

Back to the Fifties

2010-11-19T02:08:00.000-06:00

Fifty days of school have passed.

Explaining "the Fifties" to a five year old was very interesting!

My Ring

2010-11-18T01:55:00.001-06:00

I was playing around with my camera's micro settings and got this shot of my wedding ring. I just love the story behind my ring.

First, let it be known my first engagement ring was made of duct tape and I wore it proudly for several months. Now onto the story of my current ring. The large stone in the ring belonged to my grandmother. I love having a part of her in my ring. It speaks to me of generations past, hard work (because marriage is work!), and an everlasting love. The band for the ring was made by melting down a piece of my jewelry and a piece of Patrick's. We combined the two parts of our past and created his wedding band and mine. It was a way for us to symbolize the two becoming one. The six diamonds on the outside came from a ring I had previously that I never wore anymore. I like that the total number of stones is seven, my favorite number. I just really love my wedding ring.

But I would have worn the duct tape ring for all eternity for this man.

Great Golf

2010-11-15T02:53:00.001-06:00

Perfect Purple Princess

2010-11-14T01:39:00.001-06:00

Fall Photo Session

2010-11-08T01:28:00.001-06:00

Do you have any idea how hard it is to get a good picture of three kids under the age of five?

Aiden John, 5 years old

Anthony Joseph, 4 years old

Abigail Jaicee, Nine Months Old

At least we laughed alot!

Baby Dedication

2010-11-07T17:06:00.000-06:00

When Abby was born I felt God telling me "tell the story" and at every opportunity I have tried to be faithful to testify to the miracle of our daughter's life. My story, my testimony of God's incredible faithfulness, is so intertwined with Abby's it's difficult to separate the two. I knew that I wanted to share our story on the day we dedicated her, so I gave my testimony and signed a song that was meaningful to our journey towards her, "That's What Faith Can Do" by Kutless.

Abby waited patiently for Mommy to stop talking.

A baby dedication is more about the parents than the child. It is a time to recognize that God has entrusted us with a special gift and that as parents we have a great responsibility to raise that child to know, love, and serve Him. It is a time to dedicate ourselves as parents to that calling. It is a time for family and friends to dedicate themselves to aid us in raising that child in a Godly way. There's nothing magical or mystical about it, it does not ensure eternal life for Abigail, only she can make that decision. It is a commitment ceremony for the adults.

For our precious family it was a time of great celebration!

First Haircut

2010-11-05T06:57:00.000-05:00

Whatcha doin' Nan?

Um, no really, What are you doing???

Nooooo!!!!! What do you mean I keep getting hair in my mouth when I eat? I don't care that I can't see! I wanted to play Rapunzel!

Mommy's version: We literally took 1/4 of an inch, just barely trimmed it to get it out of her eyes. She was crying because I was holding her still, a mighty difficult task, I might add!

Fun Weekend

2010-11-05T05:41:00.000-05:00

Look who's here for the weekend! Nan and Grandaddy! They flew up for Abby's baby dedication.

And he brought this cool hat too!

The boys are more interested in the movie they brought though!

Grandaddy played on the Wii.

Nan made a cake for Abby's dedication.

Patrick built a roaring, cozy fire.

And we cuddled and cuddled and cuddled!

Growing Up

2010-11-03T21:15:00.002-05:00

Today, I asked him (picture from 2007)

about his day at preschool. He told me who he played with and what they did together. I knew what snack was because his teacher and I had already discussed it, because I was supposed to substitute for her this week. I knew they had pretzels and marshmallows, that they used them to make houses since they are talking about homes and family this week. I asked him what he had for snack, just because I wanted to hear that sweet mispronunciation that took us weeks to decipher "sweesh moes." But, loud and clear, as if he had been doing it all his life, he said, "marsh moes." My "Mommy heart" skipped a beat and he

grew up and I took a step closer to letting go.

Let us out!

2010-11-03T10:30:00.000-05:00

Can't you just hear them begging to go out? Neither one of them would know what to do if they did! Ha!

S'ghetti

2010-11-03T05:33:00.000-05:00

What's this?

S'ghetti huh? Whatever it is, this is my second helping and I'm loving it!

Nine Month Stats

2010-11-02T22:25:00.002-05:00

Abby had her nine month check up today. She weighs 16 pounds 2 ounces and was 25 inches long. She was in the 5th percentile for weight and hasn't hit the charts yet for height. As I was dressing her to go to the doctor today I thought, "the sleeves on this are getting a little short, but the pants fit really well." Then, I realized it was a 0-3 month outfit! It's crazy that my nine month old, who is crawling as fast as can be, pulling up on everything in sight, and eating finger foods, can still wear 0-3 month clothes! Such a tiny little thing she is!!! She was perfectly healthy today. She got her flu shot. Other than that, it was a pretty routine appointment!

Trick or Treat

2010-10-31T22:17:00.001-05:00

Bailey Family Halloween 2010

(I'm a tiger, my costume is made of orange duct tape. Patrick is a "used piece of gum." The shoe is duct taped to his head.)

Optimus Prime

Scooby Doo

Hershey Kiss

Candy!

Bye Mimi!

The Sugar Grove Fire Department drives around the streets during trick or treat hours with horns blowing.

When they see trick or treaters, they stop the truck and give them candy! (I love where I live!!!)

Just hanging out!

Checking the loot!

Abby's bag of treats! Cheerios and Animal Crackers from our friend Grace!

Whoops!

2010-10-30T21:36:00.000-05:00

Evidence of our Stellar Parenting!!! In case you're wondering, she was okay.

Halloween Presents

2010-10-30T21:33:00.001-05:00

Nan, Grandaddy, and Mema sent us presents for Halloween!

Mesmerized

Ooooo, a book! That sings! And lights up!

Zhu Zhu Pets!!! Thanks!!!!

Happy Birthday???

2010-10-30T21:22:00.001-05:00

Happy Birthday??? To ME???? Friday, the boys in my family surprised me like crazy! Patrick dropped me off at a hair salon and I got to get a haircut for the first time in 16 months! It was divine!

As soon as I got back in the van, the boys started saying, "we have a surprise for you! It's your 1/2 birthday!" Patrick stage whispered for them to be quiet, but it didn't work!

The house was decorated, there were presents, and later in the evening several friends and family members showed up to celebrate my half birthday! It was such a fun thing! Patrick is amazing! He knew I needed that!

Nine Months Old

2010-10-29T13:00:00.000-05:00

Abby is nine months old today!

She was much more interested in her shoes on her feet and moving around than taking pictures for Mommy's blog!

She's wearing 3-6 month clothing, 6-9 in length, but usually that is too big. She has three teeth now and several more on their way in. She loves to eat puffs, Cheerios, and anything she can pick up off the floor. We have her nine month check up next week to see what she weighs and how long she is. She is the happiest baby and really, really loves her Mommy right now. She is crawling very, very fast and pulling up. We expect her to be cruising along the couch at any moment.

Aiden's Halloween Party

2010-10-29T11:00:00.001-05:00

Aiden's party at school went very well. Since there is a school policy of "no food can be brought in," I made a different sort of pumpkin from the cake I made for Anthony's party. This is Jack.

His nose got "lost" on the way to school and my friends in Aiden's class helped me put it back!

We made cute Halloween coloring books to give to friends instead of candy.

The children paraded through the school to show off their costumes. There goes my Transformer, Optimus Prime!

Mrs. Soper's AM Kindergarten class

Anthony's Halloween Party

2010-10-28T22:00:00.001-05:00

Anthony's Halloween party at preschool was a great success! He was so excited that Daddy went as a helper! Patrick is quite the novelty at the preschool. We love that he gets to go help out every once in a while. Anthony, or Scooby-Doo, was very excited!!! Every friend brought a special treat to hand out. He couldn't wait to give away his Scooby Snacks!

Mommy made a pumpkin cake for a treat

"Buddy!"

Playing games

Duck, duck, goose

Hi Daddy!

Mrs. Amy and her preschoolers

Pumpkin Carving

2010-10-28T16:00:00.001-05:00

The Pumpkin Patch

2010-10-28T04:01:00.002-05:00

Hey! Are you ready to go to the Pumpkin Patch? What's a pumpkin patch?

We're here!

Look at all the pumpkins!

A pumpkin washing station

Look at all the different gourds! No belly buttons!

Time to play on the tire mountain!!!

Hey let's go in the corn maze!

My hood is up because it was SO windy that day!!!

The bridge in the middle of the corn maze that took us forty five very long minutes to get out of! Lots of walking and we still aren't totally sure where the exit was!

Hey Pumpkin, don't eat the hay!

Headed to the pumpkin patch with Mimi and Papa!

Our pumpkins!

So, um, now what do we do with it?

It's getting pretty corny around here!

Three precious Pumpkins!

Bye bye pumpkin patch! See you in December for a Christmas tree! Um, what's a Christmas tree?

Crawling

2010-10-25T17:33:00.001-05:00

She wanted that red square! I thought it was hilarious!

She thought so too when she got it!!!

Mystery Trip

2010-10-25T17:13:00.004-05:00

Last week I picked the boys up and headed to Wendy's.

Then, I broke the news, "We're going on a Mystery Trip!"

A what?

A Mystery Trip! Yay!

We finally arrived, with much cheering, at the Dupage Children's Museum.

Mission Control

I'm seeing double! Double the fun!!!

Abby loved the baby area

I love these little people!!!

(Sidenote: It's really hard to get a good picture of Anthony right now. For some reason he refuses to have a normal smile of any kind. Oh well, this too shall pass.)

Making a kite

The Chair

The Water Table Bubbles

The cars outside!!!

Field Trip

2010-10-25T16:55:00.002-05:00

Aiden took his first Field Trip this week. I got to go as a sponsor! I love having Mimi here to help out and I LOVE being a stay at home Mommy! :) We went to Larson's Family Farm. It was great fun!

Sitting by the cutest boy on the bus

Learning about the Teepee

Waiting patiently to go inside the Teepee

Passing around Indian artifacts

Good friends on the hayride

Mrs. Soper's AM Kindergarten Class

Some interesting things we learned while on the field trip: the Indians used duck poop to paint things blue, there are different pumpkins for baking and for jack-o-lanterns, and our area has not seen rain in one month!

You are cordially invited. . . .

2010-10-24T22:01:00.002-05:00

Dear Friends and Family,

You are cordially invited to the baby dedication of Abigail Jaicee Bailey.

It will be November 7th. It will be a part of the regular morning worship service, at Lynwood Baptist Church, which starts at 10:30am. There will be lunch and cake following the service. Please join us in celebrating our miracle from God!

Lynwood Baptist is located at 8 W. Rickard Drive in Oswego, IL.

Please RSVP to Angie at abailey423@yahoo.com

Thanks!!! We'd love to have as many of the people that prayed for Abby to be there as possible!

Tired Baby

2010-10-19T20:05:00.003-05:00

A few days ago Patrick and I were talking about how we have pictures of both boys falling asleep in their high chair and we wondered if we'd ever get one of Abby.

Slow down little girl!

2010-10-18T15:17:00.002-05:00

Saturday she crawled across the floor for the first time. Sunday she did this:

Today I'm going to just hold her so she can't walk away.

The Pumpkins

2010-10-17T13:55:00.004-05:00

Over two weeks ago we began our walk to school as normal. I was pushing Abby in the stroller, Anthony and Aiden were walking beside me. The house across the street had recently decorated for fall. It looks beautiful! Aiden noticed it and asked, "Mommy can we get some pumpkins for our house?" I was admittedly distracted. I responded, "not right now" and hurried the boys along because we were running late.

This conversation continued the next morning and the next morning. Have I mentioned we walk to school three out of five days? Every morning Aiden would ask. Throw in a bad attitude on my part. I was worried about money. Really, really worried about money. We are seriously strapped financially right now, in an unexpected way, due to some large unexpected "life" incidents. I was trying to figure out in my head how on Earth I was going to get my baby a pumpkin. I couldn't figure it out and I was frustrated! I blurted out, almost angrily, "Aiden, if you want a pumpkin, talk to God about it, because we just don't have the money right now!" I instantly regretted it and apologized for my harsh words. Aiden said, "that's okay Mommy, I'll pray." He did. Right then. As we walked to school. It was the most beautiful, simple prayer for a pumpkin.

Tomorrow, Aiden and I are going on a field trip with his Kindergarten class. We are going to a farm. I was reading the information and it says that each student will get a pumpkin when they leave. I wish right here is where I could say my son schooled me in faith. I can't. I was relieved, but not satisfied. That's not what Aiden wanted. He wanted several pumpkins to decorate the front porch with. I got even worse! I tried and tried to figure out how I could buy him some pumpkins. I got more and more anxious about it. I got more and more frustrated. But, I thought, well, at least God is sort of going to answer his prayer.

Yesterday, Patrick and I were gone from home the majority of the day. When we came home I opened our front door to look outside for something. (We never go out our front door. We always go through the garage.) This is what I found.

I have no idea who placed them there, but I do know WHO they came from. I believe God does not want me to know. If you placed them there and you are reading this, thank you for being a servant for Him! He desires to bless us, more than we can even imagine. I wish I could just get out of the way and let Him do it, His way.

Aiden has not seen them yet. I cannot wait to show them to him and to tell him how God answered his prayer in a big way!

Fall is Here!

2010-10-12T13:54:00.001-05:00

I love where I live, because I get to see God's amazing creation. Like this . . .

St. Charles Scare Crow Festival

2010-10-10T22:10:00.001-05:00

A friend recommended we check out the Scare Crow Festival in St. Charles last weekend. We grabbed the kids and rushed over for a couple of hours. It was Amazing! We each had our favorites, but the camera batteries died, so the pictures are few.

This one won first prize in the traditional category. I thought it was neat, I especially like the perfectly placed painted patriotic pumpkins (Say THAT five times fast!)

I took a picture of this one for many of my friends! Ha! You know who you are!

The boys enjoyed playing in some kids areas. They are both in these pictures, you'll just have to look really hard for Aiden, he was always behind someone. I finally got just him in the frame and that's when the camera died.

And this was our favorite! We loved Noah's Ark. Be sure to look at the video of it! It was amazing!!! It won first place in the Mechanical Category!

A Child's Faith

2010-10-10T11:47:00.003-05:00

Today in church Pastor Bruce asked, "What do you do when it hurts and there is nothing you can do to stop the pain?"

Aiden, five years old, immediately answered, "Worship!"

Father, let me see You as my son does. Amen.

Matthew 18:3-5
And He said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes a little child like this in My name welcomes Me."

Blackberry Farm

2010-10-02T20:26:00.000-05:00

We had a Saturday free for some Family Fun! With only a couple of hours free we chose to stay close to home and visit Blackberry Farm. We've talked about going several times, but something always came up. My first mission on our little trip was a picture of all three kids!

Well, I guess I should have specified Looking at the camera!!! Oh well!

There, this one is a little better!

The boys first mission was a train ride!

This sweet face is saying, "Um, Mama, it's COLD!!!" We should have all had coats on! We were way under prepared for the windy, cold weather!

A hay ride, without hay! Well, they called it a wagon ride. I loved it because it didn't bother my allergies!

Riding a tractor!

"Mama help! I going the wong way!"

Abby says, "Hi Aiden!"

"Wait! Where'd he go??"

"Whew! It's Anthony! They are fast!"

Eight Months Old

2010-09-29T20:21:00.001-05:00

Abby is eight months old today! She weighs 15 pounds. She loves to eat squash and corn, chicken noodle soup, and peach puffs. She is still rocking on all fours, but hasn't really crawled yet. She sure can get around quickly though! Her favorite thing to do right now is find stray paper and chew on it, no matter how hard we try to keep her from it! She is definitely developing a personality. She loves to hug, kiss, and zerbert her Mommy. I love how she squeezes my neck when I pick her up! She loves her Daddy and her big brothers! She likes going to Sunday School and loves her teacher Mrs. Linda. She has really enjoyed spending time with her Mimi and Papa lately, although Mommy has to watch Papa or he'll feed her chocolate! She has the cutest belly laugh.

This dress belonged to me when I was baby.

Her picture with her Lambie.

Fun Run

2010-09-29T20:08:00.000-05:00

Aiden's school held a Fun Run as a fundraiser. Aiden had some wonderful, gracious donors and raised $80! Thank you so much for donating!

Walking onto the track for his run! He was so excited he had a real race number on his shirt.

Mrs. Soper's Class (and Mrs. Sablich, student teacher, on the left)

First Lap!

Cute Cheerleaders!

Still Running (about the fourth or fifth lap)

Walking (last lap)

Popsicles!!!!