Life altering decision!

I've been debating for weeks. I've done hours of research online. I've asked others opinions. I was so tired of the same thing. It's been the same for sixteen years now. That's a really long time! I mean, yeah, it's gone up or down, but in general, it's been the same. Yet, I just couldn't bring myself to do it! I mean, cutting one's hair is a life altering decision. So, instead I drove my husband insane with the incessant discussion and the what ifs of the situation. I've done this for nearly four weeks now. And my hair has stayed like this.



It's simple. Low maintenance. And boring. I want excitement. I want something different and new. But I'm terrified to take the plunge, so I remain with my own personal status quo.

Then, today, I snapped. Literally. You see, I was incredibly nervous today. I performed a piano recital tonight. I hate piano recitals. I get so nervous I hurl, toss my cookies, pray to the porcelain god, well, you get the picture. The longer the wait, the worse it gets. So, somewhere around noon today I snapped. I looked at my sweet husband, with two small boys whining and running circles around my legs, and I believe flames began to come out of my eyes. My voice morphed into a strange growling sound as I said to the sweet hubby, "is it okay if I go get my hair cut?" He quickly acquiesced, I think more from fear than an actual desire to see me with a new do. I ran out the door, literally. I had to run back in and get keys for the van.

I've called my brand new, just found three weeks ago, stylist and I'm racing to the salon, because she's leaving in forty five minutes! All the while my brain was rationalizing my behavior, "I've been wanting to do this for a long time, I want to get it done before we go to Florida." The list just goes on. In reality though, my thoughts were, "If I change my hair dramatically, everyone will be looking at it and not listening to my mistakes on the piano!" So, I walk in and give a complete stranger, whom I've seen cut my boys hair once, complete reign over my hair! About half way through this strange process I throw in that I want some highlights too! Then, about three quarters of the way into the process I begin to wonder how much highlights cost and if I brought enough money with me. This is when I realize that I have completely gone wacko and that I might ought to look into some counseling for my fears of playing the piano in front of others.

I was just contemplating asking for the yellow pages to look up psychiatrists, when I was moved to sit under the hair dryer. Oh my gosh! I'm such a wimp! It was so freaking hot!!! I'm really praying hard by this point. Many things are being lifted to our Creator, but mainly I was begging for relief from the pain of the burn! Feel the burn! Oh yeah, I was feeling it all right. I was also desperately begging God for the price of this stupid, impulsive, adventure to be in my budget! Yet, I never actually gave my fears of playing over to God. I held on tight to that. Cause, I'm smart like that. (please note the sarcasm)

And the results of this crazy situation you ask??? Well, here they are!



Here's the back!


I think I like it!


Oh my gosh! My craziness might have just paid off this time!


It did! Woohoo!!! Sweet hubby likes it too!!!!


And I got as many compliments on my new do as I did on my piano skills for the night. Thank the Lord it's over and I got a cute new haircut out of it!!!

What makes a mother?

Warning, this is going to be a long post! There's alot on my mind and I haven't posted in forever. :)

Recently there was a reality "contest" by NBC to find the best Mom. Unfortunately, the executives of NBC and Teleflora made a huge mistake. They named a category "The Non-Mom" and included in that category mothers who had adopted children. The adoptive community flew into an uproar and the name was immediately changed, but not before the damage had been done and alot of business lost by enraged mothers and children. This story, along with Mother's Day, made me begin to ponder, what is a mother and what is a father and what makes a family? Most of the time the answer will be, a family is made up of people who love each other. So how do you define love? What kind of love makes a family?

I've come up with my own definitions of family and love. I hope you enjoy it!

A cherry blossom tree, in full bloom. Mimi, who remembered a small snippet of a conversation years ago, to bring unspeakable joy with a unique gift. A tree that was picked after hours of research with the help of Papa Doug and his laptop. A tree that will measure the growth of my children.



A blanket, made by hand by my grandmother Opal Elrod, one that will be passed down for generations, and will always be referred to as "the Mema blanket." This picture is appropriately titled, "Wrapped in Love."



The most beautiful girl in the world. Shared celebration. Big brother. Nancake.



A mask. Lemon and Larry Boy. The island. Wrestling with Daddy, oblivious to all around. Sometimes the background in life is just as important as the center of attention.



Swinging. Purchased by Mema. Hand tied by Daddy. Giggling with your brother.




A smile. Saying "Mama!" Reaching for hugs.


A Lambie. She used to be white. Little boys. The parents who took her away for just a little while, to help a little boy gain independence, but knew to give her back. The little boy who turned into an incredible man and gave her to me. Carefully picking out Lambies for our children.



Daddy. Books. Contentment. A small snapshot of the incredible Father that is in that man.



Hard work. Determination. Morals. Character. Life lessons taught to us by others. Perseverance in the face of difficulties. A walking miracle.



Mother. Mema. Best friends. Daddy who took the picture and gave the flowers and makes sure they are taken care of when I can't be there to do it. A strong foundation like Eunice and Lois gave Timothy.




Feeding a calf, just like Mommy did at this age with Uncle Randall and Aunt Vory. Memories. Giving nourishment to others through food, touch, and encouraging words. Good friends.



Dandelions! Literally this time! Aunt P.J., who made that line famous in our family. The first time to give Mommy a flower.



The results of the dandelions. Chasing a kite for the 23rd time without complaint. Grateful for the ability to run after it. Laughter from children as Mommy runs. Many Easters, many kites, in a cow pasture, hunting eggs, finding the last egg in Pepa's pocket. Another generation of kites.



A date with Mommy. Just the two of us. Hugs and kisses, playtime and McDonalds. Children's Museum. Learning. Grandparents who give gifts that offer experiences, memories.



A journal passed between husband and wife. Love letters. Encouragement. Give and take. "Patrick, tell me the story, please?"



A miracle. Overwhelming gratitude to Grandma and Grandpa Hedges. Mine. "He sure looks like his Mommy." Accepting kisses flavored with snot. An incredible DCFS caseworker. "You are just like your father!" Cheerios. Cheese.



Three with Jesus. Hannah Grace. Colin Michael. Airen Lee. Only God is allowed to choose the timing of life. The impact of a life is not measured in years on earth. Painful blessings.



A diamond from Nana. Gold from me and gold from you, mixed together, making one of two. Commitment. Always.



A cross. Handmade by my Uncle. All it represents. God who gave us all of the above and more. Christ. Resurrection. Forgiveness. Eternity. Grace. Pure love. Family. The thing that ties it all together for us. Faith. Hope. And love. But the greatest of these is love.



Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13

Mother's Day 2008

Mother's Day 2005



Mother's Day 2006



Mother's Day 2007



Today. Mother's Day 2008

Watch out Tiger Woods!

A historic event took place today in the Bailey home. Daddy decided it was a great day to teach Aiden about golf. Aiden was so excited! He ran into the bedroom and said, "Mommy! Wake up and watch Anthony!" and then he ran back out. Usually I get hugs and kisses, but not today, he was focused! Finally, Mommy got up and Daddy got Aiden dressed and ready to go!



Come on Mom, enough pictures!!!



Daddy do you want to be first or second on the score card?



Excellent form . . .



for a three year old!



Oh, it's NOT a sandbox??? I can't play in it?



Hey, Daddy, I think I'm winning! You need to go to the range and practice!



Whew! I'm tired! Great game Dad! When can we go again?