Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Cheese

This is an actual conversation from today.

"Cheese!"

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"Finished?"

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"not finished" followed by a huge exasperated sigh

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No baby, Mommy is not finished with you. You are too adorable for words, so I must take lots of pictures. I love you Peanut!

Illinois State Fair

This past week we went to the State Fair. We had so much fun!

There were fire poles to slide down . . .
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Then we went to see the Butter Cow! Isn't that cool? A lady carved this cow (and calf and skunks???) out of butter! She does it every year. I had heard about the butter cow before we moved to Illinois, but it was so fun to finally get to see it.

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We played a little golf

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We were the first people there from Macomb, so we got to put a pin on the map.

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There were some beautiful flowers at one exhibit on wildflowers from Illinois

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While Mommy looked at the flowers, Aiden and Anthony played some science games

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Aiden begged to ride the rides. We weren't sure how he would do, but he was tall enough for some of the kiddie rides, so we let him go. This is his first ride. It went REALLY fast!!! He Loved it!!! He was screaming, "Weeeee!!!!"

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Then, the helicopters . . . If you look carefully you'll see that Aiden is having the time of his life and Anthony, well, not so much.

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Then, the cars

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Then, the rollercoaster

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Finally, Aiden endured the train for his little brother's sake
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Anthony was very appreciative

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Then, it was right back to the rollercoaster

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"I just can't watch Mom! Tell me when he's off!"

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He had his hands in the air, but we couldn't get a good picture of it. He's like his Mommy. :) I love rollercoasters!!! I'm so excited! I finally have someone to ride with me.

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"What? You let him put his hands in the air??? This is crazy!!!!"
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And back to the helicopter, alone this time

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And one more car ride, a bug for Mommy

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Finally, Daddy has gone for Fair Food!!!!
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No picture of the funnel cake, the boys devoured it!!!

Fish Dreams

We went to a really neat water park in the St. Louis area. Aiden loved it! He liked the lazy river, in particular when the buckets dumped on Mommy's head. He really loved the slide.

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He had so much fun playing with his Daddy. He is a little fish. He could have stayed all day long.

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What about Anthony you say?

Well, for Anthony, the water park was a dream come true . . .

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Monday, August 25, 2008

Happy Heaven Day!

Today marks two years that Colin Michael Bailey went to heaven. He was stillborn at 32 weeks on the day we moved to Macomb. He had his big brothers nose. He had a full head of beautiful black hair. He was perfect in every single way, 2 pounds and 4 ounces of pure innocence. He died due to maternal floor infarction of the placenta, a very rare condition where the placenta doesn't form correctly. For 32 weeks we spoke to him, sang to him, and loved him. We named him and planned his future. We planned our future as a family of four.

Today we went to his grave to release balloons and wish Colin a Happy Heaven Day. We talked about how much we miss him and how things have changed in two years. Aiden and I made up a long elaborate story about Colin playing with Jesus. As we neared the grave we found something unexpected. Last November we placed tiny pumpkins at his grave. Today, there was a vine growing, with yellow flowers, and two tiny pumpkins on it that aren't quite ripe yet. God brings life from death. We joked that Colin is better at growing things than I am.

I think of him daily and wonder if things had been different what it would have looked like. But Colin did in 32 weeks, what it takes most people a lifetime to do. He fulfilled God's purpose for him. I don't even pretend to understand it, but I do live my life differently because of Colin's influence on my life. I love deeper because of my son. I weep openly and I laugh louder. I tickle my boys and I tell them I love them more often.

So, thank you Colin. You taught me to live without regrets. I miss you baby. My heart aches for you and my arms still long to hold you again. At night I sing to you, even though you are no longer here and I trust that you can hear me. I cannot wait to see you again. I am "Homesick" because of you. I rejoice today that you are with our Jesus! Happy Heaven day baby!

All my love,
Mommy


Friday, August 15, 2008

Home safe and sound!

Thank you for praying and thinking about us today! Anthony's surgery went well and we are home safe and sound. We are thrilled to be done with surgeries for a little while! What a week this has been. So glad to have it all over with.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Hear ye, hear ye!

Pardon the pun in the title, but I couldn't resist. Anthony will be having surgery in the morning to put tubes in his ears. We have to be at the hospital at 6am. We do not know when his actual surgery will be, but we were told to expect it to be at least a couple of hours after we arrive at the hospital. No problem! Yeah right, you explain to a two year old, in particular this two year old, why he can't have breakfast!!! Pray for us! We'll let you know how it goes!

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Dash Liam Bailey

Dash Liam Bailey
August 11th, 2008

I miss you baby! In your short life you brought me so much joy. You brought me hope and peace. I will forever be grateful for you little one. I will never forget the feeling when I heard your precious heart beating for the first time. I'm so thankful you were a part of my life, even if it was only for a few weeks. I had so many dreams for you, but my constant prayer was that you would glorify God. Now you are praising Him constantly. As your mother, I have no greater honor than to know my child is glorifying God. I'm so proud of you!

I'm sure by now you've met Hannah, Colin, and Airen. Have a great time playing with your brothers and sisters. Say hi to Noah for me. I can't wait for the four of you to introduce me to Jesus! We'll see you soon baby!

Love,
Mommy

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Thank you for your prayers

We confirmed with another ultrasound today that Dash is no longer with us. We have scheduled a D&C for Monday morning around 8:30. Please continue to keep us in your prayers. Please pray for healing for Patrick. Please pray specifically for my faith. To be honest, my faith is currently very shaken. I don't understand four losses in 2.5 years. I can't see or understand God's plan or love for me right now. My heart is hurting so bad I'm having problems getting past the pain to lean on the Truth I know to be there. My words right now are a mixture of blasphemy and scripture, it is a very strange place to be. And I honestly know that I will come out of it, on the other end, with a stronger faith. But I need to question and hurt for a bit. It's as if I am currently in a tunnel. I know there is a light on the other end (and it's Still not a train), but I must go through the tunnel. The tunnel is dark, cold, scary, and really long. The tunnel is full of unanswered questions that must be asked, conversations, no arguments, with God that must be spoken, but that doesn't mean He's not in the tunnel with me. Pray for my journey.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Please pray

Dash did not have a heartbeat today at our appointment. Please pray for us.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Nine Weeks

Proverbs 10:22

The blessing of the Lord brings wealth, and He adds no trouble to it.

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Random Pictures

Tiger, um, I mean Aiden playing miniature golf
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Daddy and Anthony golfing through the tiger
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Um, Mommy, playing miniature golf! :)
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Fireworks on the fourth of July! (Better late than never!)
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Super Anthony!!!
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Great Job Aiden!!! He's doing so well going on the potty!
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Wet Babies!
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