Sunday, June 20, 2010

A picture is worth . . .

We know the saying, a picture is worth a thousand words. So, what is 1000 pictures worth? That's what I've been doing the past two days, editing over 1000 pictures from our trip to Disney and the Island. We have some gorgeous pictures! That's just My camera, that doesn't include Mimi or Nan's pictures or the numerous pictures Patrick and I took with our phones!

I promise you are going to get a "day by day" recap of our vacation. Let me just say it was amazing!!! Before we got on the plane to come home, we were already planning next years vacation, something on a little smaller scale, but time together!

However, today's post is not really about vacation. It's more about pictures. :) As I was editing those 1000 pictures I began to realize how many times I had the thought, "I really like that picture of me!" You have to understand, I don't usually like Any picture of myself. In the last year I've made a concerted effort to be in pictures with my children, but I'll have to admit, I've hated it. I don't like how I look. So, I was so surprised at how many of the pictures of myself I liked. Well, here, let me show you what I'm talking about! I love this . . .

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and this . . .

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and this one . . .

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Yes, I know, they all have my children in them, why wouldn't I love them? But there's something more, that I just can't put my finger on. Just me . . .

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Maybe it's because I've lost weight? I've lost nearly forty pounds since having Abby. I'm really proud of that. Yet, I know I still have alot more I need to lose. I'm definitely feeling healthier, maybe that's part of it?

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Nope, that's just not it. Maybe it's Disney. It is "the happiest place on earth," so maybe that's why I like all of my pictures. I have a picture of myself dancing in the street with my boys to an Irish band. Somewhere there's a picture of me walking down Main Street waving to the crowd as if I WAS the parade. I mean, I AM a princess.

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But, no, it's not Disney, because I really, really like this one . . .
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and this one . . .
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Then, in my editing process I hit this picture.
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I did not know my picture was being taken. I am looking at something in front of me, even though it looks like I was looking straight at the person taking the picture. I was talking to my Mom who is behind me. This is my favorite picture of me from this trip. I almost didn't recognize myself the first time I saw it! Why???

Suddenly, it hit me like a ton of bricks with a grand piano on top! OH MY FREAK!!! I'm HAPPY!!!!!!!! I'm crying just thinking about it! I'm so happy! For nearly five years I've been in that stupid, dark tunnel of depression. Then, I poured out my heart to my God and He used these three miracles . . .
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to break the stupid, horrible, sadness. Then, I realized I haven't had an anti-depressant pill in over a month and I literally wanted to do a jig! I'm not saying it's over. I'm probably going to fight the depression battle the rest of my life and I know that, but I am saying I'm more prepared than I've ever been! So, take a look at those pictures, closely, because you may not recognize me the next time you see me in person! I'll be the one smiling and laughing and thanking God for my life!

2 comments:

lil K said...

This made me happy. I love the pictures! & I love you!
Glad to see you so happy! You deserve it :)
Sonya

Carmen said...

You just made me cry because I am so, so happy for you. Happy you have Patrick and those three gorgeous kiddos, and happy that you are happy!