October 15th

On September 28, 2006, the United States Congress passed a resolution declaring October 15th Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Today we remember our children in heaven.

Hannah Grace Bailey - December 18, 2005 - miscarriage at 11 weeks, no known heartbeat

Colin Michael Bailey - August 25, 2006 - stillbirth at 32 weeks due to intrauterine growth restriction as a result of maternal floor infarction of the placenta

Airen Lee Bailey - November 1, 2007 - miscarriage at 10 weeks, no known heartbeat

Dash Liam Bailey - August 11, 2008 - miscarriage at 10 weeks, his tiny heart was beating at seven weeks, it stopped beating around nine weeks

Through each of these children I have learned that life is precious and not to be taken for granted. One of my favorite quotes is by Mayor Bloomberg, stated on the anniversary of the tragedy of 9-11. He said,

"It has been said that a child who loses his parent is an orphan, a man who loses his wife is a widower, a woman who loses her husband is a widow. There is no name for a parent who loses a child, for there are no words to describe this pain."

Even though I love this quote, and I believe it speaks volumes to the grief a parent endures from the loss of a child, I look to another source for comfort.

1 Thessalonians 4:13

Now also we would not have you ignorant, brethren, about those who die, that you may not grieve for them as the rest do who have no hope beyond the grave.

God's word does not say, "Don't cry." Even Christ wept over the death of his friend Lazarus. As a matter of fact, it can be argued that God's word gives us a time limit for our grief. When we enter heaven, our tears will be wiped away. In other words, this will always affect my life, I will be grieving until I am reunited with my Savior. So, there is hope. Hope that our grieving will end and that we will not be separated from our children forever. My sons and daughters, who have gone on, lived a life I'm jealous of. They knew perfect love in an instant. They were warm and safe and deeply loved while on earth. Then, they quietly slipped from love to perfect love into the arms of Christ. Someday I will hold them. Someday I will hear their stories. I tell their stories now, but I have such a limited view of their lives and impact on this world. I also see their lives mixed with an incredible amount of personal pain for myself and my loved ones. Yet, someday Jesus will wipe away those tears and that pain and He will truly receive the glory for their lives. So, today I remember. And I look forward to the day I will forget.