I read this on a friend's blog tonight and it really struck me. I've been pondering it for a few hours now. I just wanted to share.
“Sometimes I would like to ask God why He allows poverty, famine and injustice in the world when He could do something about it… but I’m afraid He might ask me the same question.” -Anonymous
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Friday, November 27, 2009
A little white dress
I've had this blog post ready in my head for a couple of days now, but I just couldn't start it for some reason. It was if I didn't have the words to start, but I wasn't sure why. I was beginning to get frustrated. I sat down tonight and decided, I can't sleep anyway, I'll write that post. As I began to look up my background information, everything fell into place.
I would like to give you a peek into my journal. This is an excerpt of what I wrote on November 27th, 2006, three years ago to the day.
I had a dream last night. For the first time since I got pregnant with Hannah I dreamed about holding a sweet precious baby in my arms. And it was a peaceful dream. I held a child. And I was at peace. I nursed that child in my dream. And I woke up in peace. And I knew that everything will work out for the good of all that serve the Lord. Peace.
In that dream everything was white, sunny, and peaceful. This was a stark contrast to my mental state at the time of the dream. Everything seemed dark and cold, grey, and in chaos. It had only been three months since we had lost Colin. Over the years I've thought of that dream many times and I've hoped.
I can still vividly remember that dream. I can tell you exactly what the baby looked like. Without telling anyone, I've been looking for the dress the child was wearing in that dream. I wanted to buy it, as a sign of hope for myself. It was a rather common, simple style, but I've never seen it to buy.
A few days ago, I was literally having a panic attack about Abby. My boys were at nap and Patrick was at the grocery store. I had been falling into a depression for a couple of days. I don't have any logical reason to be concerned about this precious life inside of me. However, doubts were beginning to pop up and engulf my mind. It's completely Satan. There is no other explanation for it. So, I called my Mom to talk. Just to chat. While I was on the phone with her a box arrived from a friend. I spoke a little about it in my previous post. I was excited to see what was inside, so I hung up with my Mom and opened the package. This is what I found.
This is the dress from my dream. God spoke hope to me! A friend I have had for five years, from Canada, whom I have never met, sent me a dress from my dream. She had no idea! There were a ton of adorable outfits in that box. I saw them thirty or so minutes later when I stopped crying over this little dress.
I am anxious to meet Abby, to see if she is that child I can vividly picture. She may be, because God gives us the desires of our heart. However, she may not, because I'm pretty sure she's going to be beyond my wildest dreams!
I would like to give you a peek into my journal. This is an excerpt of what I wrote on November 27th, 2006, three years ago to the day.
I had a dream last night. For the first time since I got pregnant with Hannah I dreamed about holding a sweet precious baby in my arms. And it was a peaceful dream. I held a child. And I was at peace. I nursed that child in my dream. And I woke up in peace. And I knew that everything will work out for the good of all that serve the Lord. Peace.
In that dream everything was white, sunny, and peaceful. This was a stark contrast to my mental state at the time of the dream. Everything seemed dark and cold, grey, and in chaos. It had only been three months since we had lost Colin. Over the years I've thought of that dream many times and I've hoped.
I can still vividly remember that dream. I can tell you exactly what the baby looked like. Without telling anyone, I've been looking for the dress the child was wearing in that dream. I wanted to buy it, as a sign of hope for myself. It was a rather common, simple style, but I've never seen it to buy.
A few days ago, I was literally having a panic attack about Abby. My boys were at nap and Patrick was at the grocery store. I had been falling into a depression for a couple of days. I don't have any logical reason to be concerned about this precious life inside of me. However, doubts were beginning to pop up and engulf my mind. It's completely Satan. There is no other explanation for it. So, I called my Mom to talk. Just to chat. While I was on the phone with her a box arrived from a friend. I spoke a little about it in my previous post. I was excited to see what was inside, so I hung up with my Mom and opened the package. This is what I found.
This is the dress from my dream. God spoke hope to me! A friend I have had for five years, from Canada, whom I have never met, sent me a dress from my dream. She had no idea! There were a ton of adorable outfits in that box. I saw them thirty or so minutes later when I stopped crying over this little dress.
I am anxious to meet Abby, to see if she is that child I can vividly picture. She may be, because God gives us the desires of our heart. However, she may not, because I'm pretty sure she's going to be beyond my wildest dreams!
Thursday, November 26, 2009
What am I thankful for?
Thanksgiving 2009
There are so many things I have to be thankful for this year. We haven't had our Thanksgiving dinner yet. Patrick works retail, we'll celebrate on Saturday, but I couldn't pass up the day without talking about how my Precious God has blessed me!
This man!
I have been blessed with the most amazing husband. Not only is he an incredible Father, but he is my best friend. I can't imagine life without him, nor do I want to even try. I waited a long time, I got married "late" in life according to most people, but he was worth the wait. God knew exactly what he was doing. Yeah, I get really frustrated with Patrick. Yeah, we fight, hard. Granted, we don't fight as much as we used to, we are both learning in that area. But we are both quick to make up. There was a small time in my life when I thought Patrick would be better off without me. Needless to say, it coincided with a huge dip of depression in my life. I'll never forget his words, "I know you do not have faith right now, but I have enough for both of us, and living without you is Not an option for me, ever." On more than one occasion he has battled my personal demons with prayer and truth. He encourages me, loves me, and laughs with me. I cannot believe I get to grow "young" with this man. To top it all off, when I look at him, it rocks my world! ;) I am truly thankful for my Patrick, the love of my life.
My red head!
This little boy never ceases to amaze me with his intelligence, his compassion, his understanding of very grown up things, and his love for his Mommy. I am continually laughing and in awe of the things coming out of his mouth. He has insight beyond his four years. I cannot imagine what God has in store for this little man, but it is something beyond our wildest imagination. I pray that Aiden will accept his calling in life quickly and whole heartedly serve God. But, more than that, I pray that I will be able to support him. I have a feeling God will be using him and that as a Mom I might get in the way sometimes. It's so hard to watch your babies fly. As long as he's on the wings of Jesus, I'm good. I'm so thankful to be the red heads' Mom.
My Peanut!
In the past few weeks I've had to reconsider my nickname for my Peanut. He's grown three inches! And he's growing in leaps and bounds in all areas of life. Too fast, if you ask me. Recently, I had the joy of sharing Peanut's story that lead to his adoption. I had no idea why I was sharing, but I felt God urging me to. Come to find out I was speaking to someone who was considering adoption and our story inspired them that God would bless that in their lives. Oh, how He blessed our lives with this little boy! I cannot imagine life without him. He is the most mischievous, stubborn, determined, and helpful child I've ever met. All of those "stubborn" traits are so much like me it is scary. He is a tiny reflection of myself and he keeps me on my knees and humble before my Heavenly Father. How amazing that God would choose this little boy to be mine, knowing he was just like me. I am truly thankful for my Peanut!
Hershey!
This is a picture from our ultrasound at 24 weeks. Hershey's face is looking towards you on the left. There are not enough words to express my thankfulness for this little life. I never thought I would get this far in a pregnancy again. We had completely given up, but God had other plans. Right now as I write, Hershey is having a playday in my tummy. The flipping, kicking, and bouncing is getting stronger and stronger each day. We are no where out of the woods with this pregnancy, but we are past the point of viability out of the womb. I'll be 26 weeks tomorrow. I am in awe of what my God has blessed us with and truly thankful for my Hershey Kiss!
Double dates!
I am so blessed to have these two. I am even more blessed to be able to stay at home with them. We went on a lunch date recently. Just the three of us. It strikes me that these kinds of days are quickly coming to an end. We are so close to Aiden starting Kindergarten. I can't imagine him not being with me everyday. I'm not sure who is going to be the most affected by that, me or Anthony. For now though, I will count my blessings and be intentional about spending time with my boys while they are little and still like to hug and kiss on Mommy. I am truly thankful to be a stay-at-home Mom.
The Money Shot!
I'm thankful that Hershey is a girl! I'm thankful that my boys love talking about their little sister. I'm thankful that my husband is so head over heels in love with his daughter that he scares me sometimes, because he'll give her anything she wants! I'm thankful that I have been blessed with a daughter. I'm thankful that her name is Abigail Jaicee. Abigail means "the joy of her Father" and that she truly is, we pray not only Patrick's joy, but the joy of her Heavenly Father as well. Jaicee means "healer" and the healing this child has brought to our family is not measurable. We pray she will tell others of her Savior Christ someday, bringing the ultimate healing to those around her. I'm thankful that my boys still want to call her Hershey. Today I am truly thankful that Abby has 99 more days until her expected arrival!
All things pink! And amazing friends!
Two days ago I received a box full of pink frills! Oh it made my day! I am so thankful for amazing friends that already love and care for my family and this precious baby. This particular friend I have known for five years, but get this, I have Never met her. Isn't that amazing? I have a group of women, the Luv Bugs, that I would literally trust my life with. There is not a one of them that I would not trust to babysit my children. A few of them I have had the privilege to meet in person. They have carried me through every loss, through every pain, through the joys, through the financial problems, and just life in general. They are an amazing group of women. I am truly thankful for my Luv Bugs!
A soft pink blanket!
After that lunch date, my redhead said, "Can we go buy something pink?" I am so thankful that my boys are so excited about their little sister. We looked for something all day long that met their standards (and Mommy's budget!!) They reminded me so much of their Daddy! The conversations were very much like this, "oh, this is pretty, it's pink! Can we buy Hershey a pink stroller? No Mommy, that's purple, Hershey needs pink!" We finally narrowed it down to two blankets, both pink. Then, it happened! For anyone that knows me well, you know that if you go shopping with me, I will often times determine a purchase on how something feels. I walk through racks of clothing with my hands out touching things, if it's soft, I stop! If it's not, forget it. So, I'm holding these two blankets and we're trying to decide which one the three of us like best. Aiden says, "well, I need to touch them!" He reached out and touched both blankets and said, "that one, it's the softest and if Hershey doesn't like it, we'll find her something else!" It was his Mommy and his Daddy all wrapped up in one sentence! Oh how thankful I am for soft pink blankets and that they remind me of how very blessed I am by my Heavenly Father. I feel like God has wrapped me in a blanket the past few months and keeps saying to me, "isn't this soft Angie? Isn't it good to sit in my presence? I love you Angie!" I am so very thankful for His love!
There are so many things I have to be thankful for this year. We haven't had our Thanksgiving dinner yet. Patrick works retail, we'll celebrate on Saturday, but I couldn't pass up the day without talking about how my Precious God has blessed me!
This man!
I have been blessed with the most amazing husband. Not only is he an incredible Father, but he is my best friend. I can't imagine life without him, nor do I want to even try. I waited a long time, I got married "late" in life according to most people, but he was worth the wait. God knew exactly what he was doing. Yeah, I get really frustrated with Patrick. Yeah, we fight, hard. Granted, we don't fight as much as we used to, we are both learning in that area. But we are both quick to make up. There was a small time in my life when I thought Patrick would be better off without me. Needless to say, it coincided with a huge dip of depression in my life. I'll never forget his words, "I know you do not have faith right now, but I have enough for both of us, and living without you is Not an option for me, ever." On more than one occasion he has battled my personal demons with prayer and truth. He encourages me, loves me, and laughs with me. I cannot believe I get to grow "young" with this man. To top it all off, when I look at him, it rocks my world! ;) I am truly thankful for my Patrick, the love of my life.
My red head!
This little boy never ceases to amaze me with his intelligence, his compassion, his understanding of very grown up things, and his love for his Mommy. I am continually laughing and in awe of the things coming out of his mouth. He has insight beyond his four years. I cannot imagine what God has in store for this little man, but it is something beyond our wildest imagination. I pray that Aiden will accept his calling in life quickly and whole heartedly serve God. But, more than that, I pray that I will be able to support him. I have a feeling God will be using him and that as a Mom I might get in the way sometimes. It's so hard to watch your babies fly. As long as he's on the wings of Jesus, I'm good. I'm so thankful to be the red heads' Mom.
My Peanut!
In the past few weeks I've had to reconsider my nickname for my Peanut. He's grown three inches! And he's growing in leaps and bounds in all areas of life. Too fast, if you ask me. Recently, I had the joy of sharing Peanut's story that lead to his adoption. I had no idea why I was sharing, but I felt God urging me to. Come to find out I was speaking to someone who was considering adoption and our story inspired them that God would bless that in their lives. Oh, how He blessed our lives with this little boy! I cannot imagine life without him. He is the most mischievous, stubborn, determined, and helpful child I've ever met. All of those "stubborn" traits are so much like me it is scary. He is a tiny reflection of myself and he keeps me on my knees and humble before my Heavenly Father. How amazing that God would choose this little boy to be mine, knowing he was just like me. I am truly thankful for my Peanut!
Hershey!
This is a picture from our ultrasound at 24 weeks. Hershey's face is looking towards you on the left. There are not enough words to express my thankfulness for this little life. I never thought I would get this far in a pregnancy again. We had completely given up, but God had other plans. Right now as I write, Hershey is having a playday in my tummy. The flipping, kicking, and bouncing is getting stronger and stronger each day. We are no where out of the woods with this pregnancy, but we are past the point of viability out of the womb. I'll be 26 weeks tomorrow. I am in awe of what my God has blessed us with and truly thankful for my Hershey Kiss!
Double dates!
I am so blessed to have these two. I am even more blessed to be able to stay at home with them. We went on a lunch date recently. Just the three of us. It strikes me that these kinds of days are quickly coming to an end. We are so close to Aiden starting Kindergarten. I can't imagine him not being with me everyday. I'm not sure who is going to be the most affected by that, me or Anthony. For now though, I will count my blessings and be intentional about spending time with my boys while they are little and still like to hug and kiss on Mommy. I am truly thankful to be a stay-at-home Mom.
The Money Shot!
I'm thankful that Hershey is a girl! I'm thankful that my boys love talking about their little sister. I'm thankful that my husband is so head over heels in love with his daughter that he scares me sometimes, because he'll give her anything she wants! I'm thankful that I have been blessed with a daughter. I'm thankful that her name is Abigail Jaicee. Abigail means "the joy of her Father" and that she truly is, we pray not only Patrick's joy, but the joy of her Heavenly Father as well. Jaicee means "healer" and the healing this child has brought to our family is not measurable. We pray she will tell others of her Savior Christ someday, bringing the ultimate healing to those around her. I'm thankful that my boys still want to call her Hershey. Today I am truly thankful that Abby has 99 more days until her expected arrival!
All things pink! And amazing friends!
Two days ago I received a box full of pink frills! Oh it made my day! I am so thankful for amazing friends that already love and care for my family and this precious baby. This particular friend I have known for five years, but get this, I have Never met her. Isn't that amazing? I have a group of women, the Luv Bugs, that I would literally trust my life with. There is not a one of them that I would not trust to babysit my children. A few of them I have had the privilege to meet in person. They have carried me through every loss, through every pain, through the joys, through the financial problems, and just life in general. They are an amazing group of women. I am truly thankful for my Luv Bugs!
A soft pink blanket!
After that lunch date, my redhead said, "Can we go buy something pink?" I am so thankful that my boys are so excited about their little sister. We looked for something all day long that met their standards (and Mommy's budget!!) They reminded me so much of their Daddy! The conversations were very much like this, "oh, this is pretty, it's pink! Can we buy Hershey a pink stroller? No Mommy, that's purple, Hershey needs pink!" We finally narrowed it down to two blankets, both pink. Then, it happened! For anyone that knows me well, you know that if you go shopping with me, I will often times determine a purchase on how something feels. I walk through racks of clothing with my hands out touching things, if it's soft, I stop! If it's not, forget it. So, I'm holding these two blankets and we're trying to decide which one the three of us like best. Aiden says, "well, I need to touch them!" He reached out and touched both blankets and said, "that one, it's the softest and if Hershey doesn't like it, we'll find her something else!" It was his Mommy and his Daddy all wrapped up in one sentence! Oh how thankful I am for soft pink blankets and that they remind me of how very blessed I am by my Heavenly Father. I feel like God has wrapped me in a blanket the past few months and keeps saying to me, "isn't this soft Angie? Isn't it good to sit in my presence? I love you Angie!" I am so very thankful for His love!
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Well, that explains it!
Me: "Aiden, why don't you take naps anymore?"
Aiden: "It's on my list."
This is a perfect quote from the Veggie Tales movie, The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything. In the movie, Larry's character has a very long list of things he does not do, things he is afraid of, including dark rooms. I don't believe my red-head is afraid of the actual nap as much as he's afraid he might miss something. I'm tired. I miss nap time. Maybe I should make a list?
Aiden: "It's on my list."
This is a perfect quote from the Veggie Tales movie, The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything. In the movie, Larry's character has a very long list of things he does not do, things he is afraid of, including dark rooms. I don't believe my red-head is afraid of the actual nap as much as he's afraid he might miss something. I'm tired. I miss nap time. Maybe I should make a list?
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Favorite Pictures from October
I just downloaded 240+ pictures from our camera. I picked 20 to share with you. It was hard to just pick 20! We've had a wonderful October. Mimi and Papa have been here with us and Auntie Joyce came to visit for a little while too. We've had such fun with them here and they have really been helpful!!!
Aiden at the Dupage Children's Museum
An attempt at a picture of Mommy and her boys, yeah, right!
Max put Anthony to sleep again for me. Do you think the lizard tastes good? Eww!
Mimi, Aiden, and Auntie Joyce on the train to Chicago! We had a fun day at the Art Museum and the Children's Museum.
I've always loved this painting, it was thrilling to see it in person!
Playing with the water at the Chicago Children's Museum.
We took a little "break" and went on a picnic with Mimi and Papa. While the yummy hot dogs cooked we played in the beautiful fall leaves!
Bumblebee!
Sheriff Woody!
Trick or Treat!
Package from Texas!!! Nan, Grandaddy, and Mema always send great packages!
I don't have a picture of it, but I do have to tell you what was in that package! I have been craving, I mean full out Pregnancy Craving!!!!, a strawberry cake that my Momma makes. I had told her how badly I wanted one. Instead of sending us a bunch of Halloween candy, she made me a strawberry cake, complete with strawberry icing, and overnighted it to us!!! It was delicious! And Hershey-girl, she LOVED her first taste of nancake (also known as juliecake)! Every time I ate a piece, which was quite often, she would just kick and dance. Smart girl!
The boys had a great Halloween party at school. Look at the concentration!
I wonder how many of the marshmallows were eaten and how many made it onto the paper?
Following in his Daddy's footsteps . . . surrounded by girls!
Hershey belly at 22 weeks (I'm 23 weeks now, but haven't taken a picture).
Patrick and I were headed on a date. He took me to the most wonderful restaurant! It was divine! This was the first time in my life I've gone to a restaurant that required reservations!!!
And finally, we are proud Yankee fans! We won the World Series!!! YAY! And Daddy bought Hershey a memento for the occasion!
Aiden at the Dupage Children's Museum
An attempt at a picture of Mommy and her boys, yeah, right!
Max put Anthony to sleep again for me. Do you think the lizard tastes good? Eww!
Mimi, Aiden, and Auntie Joyce on the train to Chicago! We had a fun day at the Art Museum and the Children's Museum.
I've always loved this painting, it was thrilling to see it in person!
Playing with the water at the Chicago Children's Museum.
We took a little "break" and went on a picnic with Mimi and Papa. While the yummy hot dogs cooked we played in the beautiful fall leaves!
Bumblebee!
Sheriff Woody!
Trick or Treat!
Package from Texas!!! Nan, Grandaddy, and Mema always send great packages!
I don't have a picture of it, but I do have to tell you what was in that package! I have been craving, I mean full out Pregnancy Craving!!!!, a strawberry cake that my Momma makes. I had told her how badly I wanted one. Instead of sending us a bunch of Halloween candy, she made me a strawberry cake, complete with strawberry icing, and overnighted it to us!!! It was delicious! And Hershey-girl, she LOVED her first taste of nancake (also known as juliecake)! Every time I ate a piece, which was quite often, she would just kick and dance. Smart girl!
The boys had a great Halloween party at school. Look at the concentration!
I wonder how many of the marshmallows were eaten and how many made it onto the paper?
Following in his Daddy's footsteps . . . surrounded by girls!
Hershey belly at 22 weeks (I'm 23 weeks now, but haven't taken a picture).
Patrick and I were headed on a date. He took me to the most wonderful restaurant! It was divine! This was the first time in my life I've gone to a restaurant that required reservations!!!
And finally, we are proud Yankee fans! We won the World Series!!! YAY! And Daddy bought Hershey a memento for the occasion!
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