Thursday, January 21, 2010

Another Day of the Babymoon

Patrick and I are jokingly calling this time in the hospital our "babymoon." Most expecting couples go to a nice hotel and a restaurant to spend time alone. We chose a very small hospital room. Ha!

Today started out to be very frustrating. When we were admitted on Monday afternoon, the attending OB ran some tests and tried to send us home. He did not even look at me, just at my test results from that day. Patrick and I both protested getting sent home. The next morning our MFM was livid that he had attempted to send us home. That is exactly what happened to us this morning. The same OB saw my test results and tried to send me home. However, when our MFM came in to look at the same test he wasn't pleased with the results at all. When I told him the OB wanted to send me home, well, let's just say he was not pleased and hopefully that has been resolved.

As the day progressed, the MFM decided to do another ultrasound. He felt like the bloodflow would prove that we needed to deliver Abby today, based on her NST's. However, Miss Abby had other plans. She passed the bloodflow portion of the ultrasound with flying colors. That is something she has Never done. We are all in shock! She also had great movement and our amniotic fluid was great. She did not practice breathe, so she got a 6 out of 8, instead of an 8 out of 8. Therefore, the final determination was no delivery this weekend, unless something crazy happens on her NST's. I believe we will have another ultrasound on Monday. All of that to say, I truly believe your prayers are working for Abby. Please continue them! I will be 34 weeks tomorrow. That is the first goal they wanted for me. Yay! We've got about seven hours and we've made it!

Now, let's pray that Abby does Not have a secret desire to share a birthday with Aiden (Sunday). It would be really nice if they could at least be a couple of days apart. :) At the same time, the wait is killing us. I hate the current unknown of day to day.

Also, we do not know what doctors we will be seeing on what day. Some of the OB's do not understand this situation at all. We are very pleased with our MFM's though. On top of that, the nurses really do not understand. It is difficult and frustrating to continually explain to a doctor or nurse why you are in the hospital. We have had some amazing care. However, we have also had some very frustrating care. To look at me or to look at most of our test results, Abby and I are perfectly healthy. However, you must have a comprehensive view of the situation. Unless we've explained it to them, the nurses do not look at our history in my chart. Most of them are unaware of Colin's death from Intrauterine Growth Restriction. They see Abby passing tests with flying colors, but do not realize that she is measuring six weeks behind. In other words, Abby has Intrauterine Growth Restriction. They also do not realize that my placenta was the issue in Colin's death and that the bloodflow issues we are experiencing are the only way to see if it is repeating itself, which, it is. Abby is a strong little girl, but she's not getting the nutrients and oxygen she needs or she would be growing. Please pray for this situation. Pray for the nurses and doctors. Pray for Patrick and I, in particular our frustration levels. There are times I feel like I am being treated like the "over protective, paranoid, first time Mother." I feel like I'm having to constantly justify why a doctor has me on strict bedrest in the hospital! I don't understand why I'm having to do that, if the doctor thinks it is necessary, shouldn't that be enough?

One of the most surprising things about this hospital stay is how many people I have gotten to tell our adoption story too. I have encountered so many that are interested in adoption, but are not ready to take that next step. Please pray that God will use us as a light in this place, not only for those considering adoption, but also as a witness to Him and His love.

Finally, I have been very sad today. I cannot really give you an explanation why, I'm just sad. I've cried quite a bit. I was sitting in a wheelchair, in a hallway, waiting for my ultrasound and literally got to watch a brand new baby girl being assessed by the nurse. The baby was screaming and healthy. The Daddy was SO excited and proud and I heard him exclaim, "It's our first girl!" I was so happy for them, but it made me so sad too. I began to cry, again. At this point I don't know if I'm grieving a "normal" pregnancy and birth, if I'm just terrified, or if there is just so much emotion in there that there is no way I'll ever be able to sort it all out. I've written on this blog before about my battles with depression. That will not help Abby at all right now. Please pray for my emotional health. I haven't stopped relying on my God. I still believe He is in perfect control. Thank you so much for your comments, well wishes, encouragement, and prayers! We truly need them and treasure each one!


lil K said...

I know I've said this more than once, but I am praying for you and baby Abby.
I love all of you.

Denise said...

Tslehough the birthday sharing may be not ideal - wouldn't it be kinda awesome that both your miracle children came into the world on the same day?? Maybe that's just me - but I want her to wait til after I'm back from NY, not that I can do anything if she's born before then anyways :)